The WB pulls out its Geek, and Don Johnson

... We now return to our regularly scheduled dementia.

The WB's day started in the same way it has for many years now, with communications director Keith Marder's industry-flavored stand-up routine. Marder serves up a traditional feast of tabloid humor, highlighted by the annual Shannen Doherty update ("I heard she was the victim of identity theft, and they returned it.").

We actually enjoy these early morning joke fests, you see, because before Marder went to the crossroads, returning with a job as a network flak and a substantial pay increase, he was the TV critic for the Los Angeles Daily News.

His mission was to soften us up for David Janollari, The WB's somewhat recently hired network president, who was quick to distance himself from last year's failures.

"It's a pleasure for me to be here to present my first development slate at The WB," Janollari said, putting emphasis on the words "first," "development" and "slate."

Then he took credit for "Beauty and the Geek," The WB's summer hit, which has been renewed for a second cycle. Ultra geek Richard Rubin emerged to annoy us, announcing that "Geek" begins fishing for new victims on July 30 with a casting tour that does not include Seattle. Take that as a compliment.

Johnson

Having sufficiently tenderized us, Janollari ceded the stage to the cast of "Just Legal," including Don Johnson, Jay Baruchel, and late addition Jaime Lee Kirchner. (The offbeat legal dramedy premieres after "7th Heaven," 9 p.m. September 19.)

Johnson and Baruchel were the main attractions -- Baruchel because critics adored him in "Undeclared," and Johnson for all sorts of reasons, the main one being that he and ex-wife Melanie Griffith are both on The WB this season.

Yes, somebody pointed that out.

Before telling that story, you may be interested to know that Baruchel's father used the "Miami Vice" soundtrack to brainwash him between the ages of 8 and 12.

"I love 'Miami Vice,'" Baruchel said, making old Sonny Crockett grin. "It's kind of still the coolest show ever.''

And Kirchner? "I can't believe I'm about to say this -- my only relationship with it is, 'Isn't Colin Farrell doing it or something like that?'"

Oof.

I should add that Kirchner received a fair amount of attention as well, because the African American actress is one of a handful of minorities on The WB, making her the network equivalent of the ivory-billed woodpecker.

With the exception of Kirchner and a black family taking up temporary residence on "One Tree Hill," critics still have plenty of reason to call it The White Bread network.

But the real bird watching of the day was yet to come. Johnson's ex-wife appeared in the morning's next panel for her middling but possibly critic-proof sitcom "Twins."

"Is there anything to be taken from the fact that both you and Melanie have new shows on The WB this fall?" some brave soul asked.

"Melanie is working?" he shot back. "... No, that was a joke. Just a joke, OK?...She's terrific. She's a wonderful talent."

Griffith did get her share of laughs but ... oh, just you wait.