Recently, I had the pleasure of reading "Kiss Me, I'm Single: An Ode to the Solo Life," by local author Amanda Ford. My initial thoughts were: 1. Really?! A self-help book for singles?, and 2. This book might be too cute to pass up.

With pink and red polka-dotted and heart pages, "Kiss Me, I'm Single" looks like a large Valentine. It took a quick couple hours to read, and as one reviewer of the book suggests, "utterly life-affirming," it totally is. Self-help book and cute girly fluff it is not. I quite literally found myself reading it, feeling...(beware boys)...I am woman, hear me roar! I love my life! I am successful! And smart! My relationship doesn't define this for me! It is so inspiring--almost written as a motivational speech--that I felt like standing up off the couch, finishing those grad school applications, applying to my dream job and completing the "To-Dos" on the list of becoming my most happiest 26-year-old self.

Because the underlying message--learn to love yourself first, and everything else will fall into place--is a message for everyone, whether singled, coupled, a boy or girl, love scorned or twitterpated, I've already planned on gifting it to my most fabulous friends. What is better, really, than loving the life you live?

Twenty-something Ford would agree. She was married and divorced at a young age, and has since been mostly singled and loving it. She was kind enough to answer a few of my questions, and shares some of her dating and relationship advice and dirt here for us:

Me: Your book, "Kiss Me, I'm Single: An Ode to the Solo Life," was published in 2007, and you write about living a wonderful, fulfilling life as a single. So, I have to know, are you still single?

AF: Very single. That is, if there are degrees of singleness. I don't think it's like pregnancy where you either are or you aren't. There seems to be a lot of gray area when it comes to relationship status. Right now I feel more single than I've felt in a long time.

Me: The book is written in a short, punchy manner with minimal text on each page. I think of it as sort of a coffee table book--a quick read. Where did you come up with the idea, and what was your background behind the journey in writing what some would call a "single woman empowerment or self-help book"?

AF: I wanted my book to read like a book of meditations where you could open up to any page and glean some sort of insight without having to read the whole book. But I didn't want each thought to be completely individual, so there is a narrative that runs throughout. I was very deliberate about the format of the book. Each page break was planned. There are no accidents in the way the words are laid out on the page.

In the 1970s there was a small trend for self-help books to be written in a sparse, slightly poetic style. I have loved these books since I was a young girl and have a small collection by various authors in my home library. They've got titles like Some Me are More Perfect Than Others and How to Survive the Loss of a Love. The format of my book was inspired by these.

As far as my journey to writing "single woman empowerment" and "self-help," I was raised by two psychotherapists and discussion about the dynamics of human relationships was common in our household. It's probably their influence that has made me interested in personal growth. I get a kick out of looking at a situation and asking, "What I can learn from this? How can I use this event to propel me to become a better person?"

Me: My path as a dating and relationship writer is something I prefer to keep to myself during the first few dates or when starting a new relationship. Is your book something you share on first dates...second dates...Do you ever feel shy about new men in your life reading it?

AF: I struggle with this. Sometimes I don't tell men that I'm a writer at all because the first thing they do is get online and Google me. I hate that. I think it's best to learn about potential love interests (and have them learn about me) in the old-fashioned way: by revealing things slowly over dinners, walks, pillow talks and other courting activities.

But by not telling them about my books, I feel like I'm holding back a huge part of myself. I mean, writing is my passion, my livelihood, my lifeblood. So usually what ends up happening is I reveal it slowly in bits and pieces.

When men do find out about my relationship writing they inevitably have one of two responses: 1) Write about me! or, 2) Don't you dare write about me!

Me: Many passages in your book begin with, "I know a woman who...," and you then describe stereotypical single women. Such as those who don't have anything interesting in their lives other than a man, or someone who is too afraid in being hurt to embrace love, or the woman who stays in a relationship for the sake of comfort. How do you avoid becoming one of these stereotypes?

AF: You must be willing to grow beyond your limited idea of what it means to be happy. You have to be willing to grow and accept new ways of thinking and living. You have to be aware of your weaknesses, your fears, your insecurities, your patterns, your thoughts--all of it. You have to cultivate passions. You have to dance, flirt, play, pray, enjoy, laugh. You have to stop taking life seriously. Most importantly, you have to keep your heart open to love in all its forms. You must believe that love is abundant. Love has nothing to do with another person, but is the condition of your own heart.

Me: There is often discussion about the dating scene in Seattle vs. other cities across the nation. Some say the "Seattle Freeze" makes it hard to date here. I disagree, but then I haven't dated in other cities. I know you've spent some time in Chicago, what's your opinion of the singles scene here comparative to other metropolitan locations?

AF: I think we create our own reality. If you say that dating in Seattle is lame, then your dating life in Seattle is going to be lame.

People in Seattle love to analyze and dissect things. This is a great quality for having intellectual debate and spurring progressive thought, but it's a horrible quality for dating. It seems hard to have light-hearted, flirtatious interactions without people questioning what it means and where it's going. Just look at how often this "Seattle Freeze" topic comes up. We've analyzed dating so much that all the fun has been taken out of it. That is classic Seattle.

My friend gave me a T-shirt that reads, "Shut up and dance." I wear it all the time. It's probably a good slogan for Seattleites complaining about the dating scene to adopt. Shut up and date!

Me: If you had to pick one thing, what is your absolute favorite part about being single, which you can't enjoy when in a relationship?

AF: I love the unexpected feeling that comes a long with being single, like I never know what adventure lies around the corner. I am more open to meeting new people and I feel like I can change the direction of my life at a moment's notice. When I'm in a relationship I am less able to follow my whims. I love following my whims.

Me: We love dirt and funny dating stories here at Bright Lights, Date City--what is the very worst date you've ever been on?

AF: This isn't the worst, but it's the latest.

Recently I seem to have met several guys who only want to converse in text messages. I find this annoying, boring, wimpy and totally unromantic. One of these guys was particularly handsome, so I let the text messaging relationship drag out longer than I should have. I tried, with no luck, to initiate verbal conversations on several different occasions. In the end when he wrote me a text to ask me out for a Saturday night, I wrote back, "While I do find you utterly adorable, I cannot date a guy who communicates solely via text message." He responded with, "Ok."

A week later I spotted him dining with a girl wearing a pair of knee-high suede boots. They seemed sort of cuddly and I couldn't resist saying something. I whipped out my phone and sent him a text that read, "Who's the puss in boots?"

He wrote back, "I thought you don't text."

Touche, mon ami!

Me: What's your best, last-minute advice for readers, whether coupled or singled?

AF: Love everybody and everything to the best of your ability: your friends, your family, your work, your hobbies, even your boring, dull, "I have nothing going on in my life," moments. Life goes by in an instant, you know? Just enjoy it all.

Read an excerpt I posted from, "Kiss Me, I'm Single" on Valentine's day, or contact Ford, purchase her book and read about her other publications at www.oholive.com.