100BestDatingSites.com--a site dedicated to weeding through the crap, read: porn, when trying to find good online dating sites--started their own blog in April called, "Nerds Do It Better." While there isn't much content up yet, what's posted is fun and informative for singles and couples. (Two recent posts are "25 Ailments That Can Be Cured By Having Sex" and "Perfectly Fit: 50 Ways to Meet Healthy and Active Singles" I love a reason to have more sex! I love finding a partner who is healthy and active!

Another recent post on the site is "Ask the Experts: 100 Best Blogs for Relationship Advice." If you're anything like me, which I'm assuming you are since you're reading here, a list of good dating blogs will serve you well. (I regularly read at least 15 dating blogs).

Oh, and as a shameful plug, they listed Bright Lights, Date City as one of their top 100. Aww. Shucks.

Any other dating blogs you can't live without?

Now that you've heard the female perspective on receiving flowers on a first date, and read the complete guide to bringing flowers on a first date, it's time to learn how you select a flower to bring. (Whether it's for a first date, birthday, anniversary or other occasion.)

ASUGradinWA already warned against bringing a red rose to a girl on a first date, but why? What does each flower resemble in our culture? Below is a complete list of flowers, colors and meanings:

Carnation: Fascination
Chrysanthemum: Friendship
Daisy: Loyal Love
Orchid: Love & Beauty
Red Rose: Romantic Love
Pink Rose: Love, gratitude and appreciation
Yellow Rose: Friendship
White Rose: Innocent Love
Purple Rose: Love at first site
Sunflower: You are splendid
Lily: Purity and Sweetness
Alstroemeria: Devotion
Bamboo: Good Luck

Birthday Flowers

January: Carnation, Snowdrop
February: Primrose, Violet
March: Jonquil, Violet
April: Daisy, Sweet Pea
May: Hawthorn, Lily of the Valley
June: Honeysuckle, Rose
July: Larkspur, Water Lily
August: Gladiolus, Poppy
September: Aster, Morning Glory
October: Calendula, Cosmos
November: Chrysanthemum
December: Holly, poinsettia

While girls will, more likely than not, understand the meaning of a red rose, they probably won't know the meaning of every flower. Score extra bonus points by writing the reasoning behind your selection in a small card stuck in the floral arrangement. So, what is appropriate for different occasions? For friendship, get well or a female family member, yellow roses work great. For love and romance, you can never go wrong with roses. (Red, pink, white or purple). For your girlfriend's birthday in June? Pick her up purple roses and then tell her it's because they're her birthday flower and because you fell in love with her at first site. For a co-worker, neighbor or other acquaintances, stick to something safe like sunflowers, bamboo or chrysanthemum. And my personal advice is to never, never give anyone a carnation; it just says cheap.

For a more detailed guide to flower meanings, visit FlowerSociety.com

Okay, so you've decided against a case of Bud Light, chocolate chip cookies or wine. You're going with the standard flowers for your date tonight. One of my faithful readers, ASUGradinWA, swears that bringing a woman flowers on the first date sets you apart from other men… "Growing up my father always would say that you only get one chance to make a first impression," he said. "So I figure that by getting a date flowers it will go a ways in helping that first impression. Any woman that is giving me the chance to take her out should know how much I appreciate the opportunity she has given me. Flowers are just one way of expressing that."

Since ASUGradinWA is somewhat of an expert in the field of first-date flower bringing, I've asked him to provide the male readers with a guide to bringing flowers on the first date--for all you clueless and curious soles out there:

Your Complete Guide to Bringing Flowers on the First Date

by ASUGradinWA

The entire reason I give flowers, or any other gift, on a first date is to make sure the woman who I am taking out knows that I value her and am honored to have the opportunity to spend the time to get to know her. I generally classify a first date into three categories:

• Getting to Know You Formally
• Getting to Know You Casually
• Moving from Friendship

The vast majority of first dates I go on are from the Getting to Know You Formally camp, of which flowers can be a great way to start the date out.

Because the last thing I want to do is start out on the wrong foot, I only bring flowers if the circumstances allow. In general, I suggest against bringing flowers on a casual date. There are generally two first date circumstances that allow for bringing flowers:

1. Picking her up at her place.
In my experience, a guy can score major points by judging a girl's reaction when he pulls out the flowers for her from behind his back. The advantage here is that she can then put them in a vase before leaving for the date. Plus, more often then not, if the girl has a roommate you know the roommate will want the scoop on Flower Guy at the end of the date!

2. Meeting at a neutral location.
Since a number of people tend to meet at a landmark before a date, this is a great way to surprise a date with flowers. If possible, I like to keep the flowers hidden from view. This approach should be used if we are going to head back to her car or your car after the initial meeting. If the date is going to be a long walk by the pier or the two of you are meeting outside a restaurant or bar, I'd usually not bring flowers because my date may feel self conscious having to carry something unexpected for the next few hours.

So, what flowers are appropriate?

More often than not, I go for only a single flower or a small (3 to 5) flower arrangement. A good florist is a must. Nothing says cheap like the flowers from a grocery store. No matter what, I always recommend going easy on the green filler that many florists love to use. For people in Seattle, some of the vendors at Pike Place can put together amazing arrangements for much less you'd pay at any floral shop ($5 to $7).

Of course, the type of flower is important. If I know a woman's favorite flower then I'm in luck. Absent that, the next best shot is with her favorite color. If all else fails, I pick something I think looks classy. Here are some of my favorite flowers for arrangements:

• Pink Stargazer lilies
• White lilies
• Tulips
• Daisies (Best for more casual)
• Roses (But not red!)

Roses do have special meaning attached so I generally would never give a red rose on a first date. (This, and other flower-picking rules, meanings and color choices will be included in the final part to this series--She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not III: Roses, Daisies or Tulips?)

So what are the basic rules of flower-giving on a first date?:

• Don't get her flowers if you think she'll be more then a little embarrassed by them.
  
• Don't get her flowers if she isn't going to have a place to put them while on the date.
  
• Try to stay simple, a single flower or small arrangement will do the job, a dozen roses is too much pressure and a bit creepy.
  
• Don't buy your flowers at the grocery store.
  
• Make sure you have a reason for giving the flowers and can explain it if asked. Saying "I think you're really purdy" won't cut it, this is a place you can show her that your thoughtful, sweet and have already put some thought into her.
  
• Finally, if you don't give flowers on the first date you always can the second, third, forth, or well, anytime. Most women love them!

It's Tuesday night, and you have a date with the hot girl you've been chasing. You've preplanned any necessary haircut and shave, washed your car, bought some gum, washed and picked out an outfit appropriate to the date, blasted your favorite CD, pumped iron at the gym, sang in the shower, ran some wax through your hair, confirmed dinner reservations, and sat and played PlayStation to ease your nerves.

Now, here's a question--you really, really like this girl and want to make a great first impression and definitely want to score a second date--is bringing her flowers a DO or a DON'T DO?

I've heard mention of this "flowers on the first date," phenomenon, which a regular male reader brought up in my post about The First Date Girly Ritual. I don't think any of my friends have actually received flowers on a first date, but that doesn't mean they would disapprove. Since my girlfriends are my best source for women's opinions, I conducted another mini pole:

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At a bar in my neighborhood last night, some guy kept catching my eye and eventually ended up standing next to me in the cramped, crowded popularity of Thursday night Ladies Night. It wasn't long before he made his move...

"Do I know you from somewhere?" he asked.

In a brief second, I studied his eyes and features for any ounce of recognition. Nope. I shook my head and turned back around to the attention of SMT and the inebriated crowd, swaying and jittering on the dance floor.

"Yes I do! The Stranger online...like a year ago...and you were at [insert another neighborhood bar here] last week!" he exclaimed.

Uh.

Yes and yes. Weird.

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"Would you still date me if I looked into Buddhism?" I asked SMT over hot tea and BBQ pork at a Chinese restaurant in my neighborhood. I'm reading a book right now that has my mind reeling over spirituality and beliefs, which hit closer to home than the religious beliefs I grew up with ever did or will.

"Looked into it…" he emphasized.

"What would you do if I became Buddhist?" I retorted.

"Rub your belly and pat your head."

Good answer.

Sometimes I just like to challenge him to see what he'll say. SMT grew up as the Son of a Preacher Man. I often turn the radio dial up and grin while shouting the lyrics when we're in the car together. He is, by my standards, religious. He once told me that there was a time in his life where he wouldn't have dated me because I have little to no beliefs--or at least any that are conventional and acceptable by those who attend church.

If you would have asked me six months ago, I would have told you that religion, politics and dating don't mix.* And what I meant by that, is I preferred to not argue--or even discuss--religion and politics with a significant other. If you're a Buddhist Democrat, liberal Christian, Agnostic nonpartisan, conservative Republican or a Green Party Jew, isn't it easier to just date someone with the same beliefs? You can raise your children with or without a spiritual background and passionately agree during caucuses, elections or protests.

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Last Thursday I was out to dinner with my teammates at my new job, (which is the reason for my recent delayed blog absence. Apologies. I've been overwhelmed and overloaded with a career and location change.) As glasses of wine were poured and satays and Japanese-fusion dishes consumed at Wild Ginger downtown, it didn't take long for the conversation to turn to the nitty gritty--sex, love and relationships--the grit and gossip we all love. After all, that's why I'm here, right?

Conversations were crisscrossing between the seven people at the table when I overheard my boss make a comment about something her husband did that brought her to tears, in the romantic, I'm-so-happy sort of tear way that oftentimes only love and things such as children (so I've heard) can bring about. My ears perked, and I quickly scooted myself into her conversation. I'm a sucker for any romantic story. Turns out, the romantic gesture that brought her near tears was when her husband asked her father for her hand in marriage.

Those at the table who were married each gave their opinion and story on the matter. One of my teammates (female) said her husband didn't ask, but her family had already been expecting it cause they'd been living together for years. The other, (male), said he was already part of the family and didn't feel the need to formally ask for his wife's hand in marriage.

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There is one thing a newly monogamous, formerly super single gal has a hard time getting used to--giving up the crushes. As a single, I found myself crushing on at least four men at one time. The guy I ran into at my hair salon, a boy on my kickball team, a best friend from college, and the bad-boy type roommate of another friend of mine. When single, if you fill your time and energy with cute boys, starry eyes and potential kisses, then it's a little less boring to go home alone every night. (In my opinion.)

And of course, one would like to think that as soon as you find someone you vibe with and really, REALLY like (a boyfriend, if you will), all the other crushes and men will just melt into the background of your mind. But is that realistic?

Last Thursday I was sitting at a local bar, having a glass of wine with SMT. On the counter to the left of me sat a wallet, half-empty drink and box of cigarettes. "Hmm, I wonder whose stuff that is?" I thought to myself since I often can find my neighborhood friends sitting at a local bar any given day of the week. I didn't have to wait long to find out--Ken Doll soon returned and posted up in the bar stool next to me. (Remember the bad-boy-meets-nice-guy with the pseudo girlfriend who I wrote about back in November? That's Ken Doll.)

"Hey [20-Something], how've you been" he schmoozed. "It's been awhile."

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I opened my Daily Candy Seattle email this morning (a lovely daily email service that sends out events, restaurants openings, new designers, etc. for the city you live in), and found a cute list they had created of "sexicons," or what I think are more aptly named "daticons." I thought they were kind of fun and witty and a great lighthearted way to start off the week on this sunshiny day in Seattle. I know I've done my fair share of dateorading and sintercoursing. In fact, my it's my roommate's favorite joke to refer to me as a vibraider. How about you? Any other favorite daticons you and your friends use?

bed-doomed
adj. The condition a couple faces when there's no spark in the bedroom. (Mark and I always have the best conversations, but we're completely bed-doomed to be friends.)

dateorade
n. The hookup that tides you over during a drought; a date on which you go, just to refuel and get back on the field.

mandoff
n. The act of setting up a close friend with an ex-lover.

missionary impossible
n. A position that is sure to lead nowhere.

significant otherwise
n. A person with whom you date and/or sleep because he/she is better than a certain alternative. (No, he isn't the most attentive lover, but I'd rather him than that commodities trader who lives with his mom.)

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It's never fun to be standing in the garage of your current flame's house, which he shared with his ex, and notice a "101 Nights of Sex" game on his game shelf. Just lying there, innocently, next to Scattergories and Taboo.

Oh. Really? You mean to tell me they actually slept together? Dang it!

Well burst my bubble.

I guess I'll just have to top her. I've always been one to enjoy a little friendly competition.

I am now on the hunt for a "365 Nights of the Best Sex Ever" game.

Friday night my little sister came over to spend the night with her fantastically talented and superb older sister. This is always when I get to impart my wealth of boy knowledge on her and live vicariously through her always entertaining and wild and crazy freshman year of college.

We were sitting on the couch when she let out a big sigh.

"What's the sigh for?" I asked.

"Oh… Sam," she responded. (Sam is the latest guy; I think more out of boredom than anything else. I've changed his name to protect his innocence.)

"I thought you didn't even really like this guy?"

"I don't know. I don't really. I just haven't heard from him…"

"So, you're worrying about a guy you don't even really like because you haven't heard from him in what, a day?"

She laughed a little. My guess is because she realized how ridiculous that sounded.

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Last week, Starbucks shut its doors down for a mere three hours to accommodate a company-wide, three-hour barista training session. [#] In the days leading up to it, every radio station, news channel and online media source was talking about it like it was the great Coffee Crisis of 2008, and the entire nation was going to be coffee-less for an unprecedented amount of time. At one point, I just switched off the radio in my car because the drama of it all was slightly annoying. In the aftermath, discussions run rampant from it being the greatest free advertising campaign ever, to a huge PR flop and poorly received publicity stunt. Either way, everyone can't stop talking about Starbucks.

Puh-lease.

Perhaps I'm biased because I live in a city with 10 million other coffee shops, smaller and independently owned, that make a better cup of Joe any day over Starbucks. But, who cares if Starbucks is closed? Walk across the street to Caffé Ladro, down the block to Caffé Vita or drive across town to Stumptown, Verite Coffee or Zoka Coffee Roaster and Tea Co. [Or, if you're on the east coast, I hear Dunkin Donuts is the way to go?!] Step outside the box. There's a whole world of great coffee out there other than Starbucks. A world that doesn't taste like coffee that's been sitting on the burner for six hours.

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Recently, I had the pleasure of reading "Kiss Me, I'm Single: An Ode to the Solo Life," by local author Amanda Ford. My initial thoughts were: 1. Really?! A self-help book for singles?, and 2. This book might be too cute to pass up.

With pink and red polka-dotted and heart pages, "Kiss Me, I'm Single" looks like a large Valentine. It took a quick couple hours to read, and as one reviewer of the book suggests, "utterly life-affirming," it totally is. Self-help book and cute girly fluff it is not. I quite literally found myself reading it, feeling...(beware boys)...I am woman, hear me roar! I love my life! I am successful! And smart! My relationship doesn't define this for me! It is so inspiring--almost written as a motivational speech--that I felt like standing up off the couch, finishing those grad school applications, applying to my dream job and completing the "To-Dos" on the list of becoming my most happiest 26-year-old self.

Because the underlying message--learn to love yourself first, and everything else will fall into place--is a message for everyone, whether singled, coupled, a boy or girl, love scorned or twitterpated, I've already planned on gifting it to my most fabulous friends. What is better, really, than loving the life you live?

Twenty-something Ford would agree. She was married and divorced at a young age, and has since been mostly singled and loving it. She was kind enough to answer a few of my questions, and shares some of her dating and relationship advice and dirt here for us:

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I'm almost embarrassed to be writing this, but...

Do you ever find someone attractive just because of the car they drive?

I'd like to think I'm not materialistic--dating someone who makes x-figure a year has never been part off my criteria, however, sometimes there's just a little extra oomph when a guy drives a cute car.

One of my best friends from growing up, I'll call her Mrs. V cause that's who she is to her 5th grade students, loves a guy who drives a big ole shiny mountain-ready SUV. Me--I personally love a man with a VW. But, I've been known to turn my head and think, "Ooh potential cute boy!" when a Land Rover passes by.

According to AskMen.com (a lady's portal to the inside scoop on men!), "Actions speak louder than words, and what [a man drives] says more about [him] than apparel ever could." The article then goes on to list stereotypes of men in certain cars: "The red-eyed, neo-hippie in the VW, rustic Volvo wagon or old biodiesel Benz...A slouched playa in the old-man sedan on chromed 20" rims...The smelly, messy, smoking, barely functioning wreck--with the matching guy delivering pizzas behind the wheel...."

So, if some men drive a car that matches their stereotypical personality, does your cute-car preference indicate your type in men? Perhaps Mrs. V is looking for the outdoorsy guy who spends weekends in the mountains, and I'm looking for a Creative Class dude who's a graphic designer or artist and owns a Mac? (I disagree strongly with the pot-smoking hippie stereotype assigned to VW drivers.) Meh. Sometimes the things we find attractive in the opposite sex are completely odd and unexplainable. I just know that checking out guys in cute cars makes the tedious Seattle traffic a little more bearable.

So, if you happen to see a red Volkswagen Bug slammed into the back of the car in front of it, chances are I craned my neck a little too far to see the cute boy in the passing GTI.

I recently read a post on Exposed NYC about the author's love for champagne. "Nothing beats the bubbly, giddy high of grown-up grape juice," she writes. I concur. It's nice to be an age where 24 packs of Busch Light have been retired for college reunion weekends and replaced with champagne and wine--Merlots, Cab Sauvs, Rieslings and more. I love wine and have embraced it during my 20s--bike trips to wineries, dates with a bottle of wine and dinner at home, evenings in with wine, girls and reality TV, and weekdays out at wine bars in the city such as The Local Vine in Belltown or DiVino in Ballard. Ah, wine can be paired with anything, can't it?

How about pairing it with other 20- and 30-somethings in the city? Even better if you're single.

Washington Wine Commission is hosting their second annual wine party titled, "20-something: The New Vintage" this Friday evening from 7 to 11 p.m. at W Hotel Seattle. The event will feature DJ Darek Mazzone from KEXP, wine tastings from 50 local wineries and dishes prepared by fancy restaurants such as El Gaucho, Union Square Grill and Waterfront Seafood Grill.

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