Granted, most readers of this blog live in the Seattle area...but for those of you living further north, here's a fun event you might be interested in. Tuesday, May 13th at 7;00pm my daughter and I will do a book signing/presentaion at Village Books in Bellingham. Since this is children's book week, the book store is planning a series of special events. Sondra will be discussing how she came to get seven books published. I'll try to get a few words in about the eleven books I've published. As is usually the case, I play second billing as people come to meet her and ask about her books.

In any event, if you have children interested in writing, this will be a fun way to get them practical information along with inspiration. Sondra released two books this year.
SNAP 2IT!: A Real Girl's Guide to Staying Positive gives tween girls realistic tips on doing well in school, making friends and getting involved in a sport or hobby.
77 Creative Ways Kids Can Serve gives kids step-bystep directions on easy volunteer projects.
If you are in the area, come on by. We'd love to meet you!

Most adults, when asked what comes to their minds about teenagers on a Friday night, share stories of drunk driving and wild parties. Last Friday night, my faith in teenagers was once again restored. We live in a small association with a community pool and hot tub. This weekend the Bellingham high school drama department performed the comedy "I Hate Hamlet". Sondra asked if the cast could come over after the play to swim and hang out. So at 10:00 pm cast members, still "high" from post-curtain call excitement arrived at our house. Within minutes they were happily swimming and having breath holding contests in the pool. It's what happened next that surprised my husband and I. The ten high schoolers headed indoors to the hot tub. Being the ever-present but unobtrusive chaperones, Allan and I sat outside at the front of the building. Suddenly he asked, "Where's that music coming from?" We discovered the four part harmony coming from the kids in the hot tub. For the next 45 minutes, the building was filled with their voices singing Gregorian chants and spirituals as bubbles and steam surrounded them in the hot tub. Having recently placed 2nd in the state for their choir, this group demonstrated their love for music by repeating all the classical songs they'd learned this year. Friday night. 11:00pm. Ten teenagers enjoying companionship and Gregorian chants. I think there's hope for the future!

In the weeks before Mother's Day, the media has a tendency to get us all warm and fuzzy about showing our love and devotion to mom. (When in reality, most mothers would cherish simply being left home alone in a quiet house for a few hours on Mother's Day!)Sondra and I were asked to write a book together, called "12 Going on 29: Surviving Your Daughter's Tween Years".
While the book is focused on mother-daughter relationships, the ideas of doing some slightly wacky activities apply to sons also.

The following are some fun ways for moms to spend time with their kids, doing things that are still warm and fuzzy but with a slight "edge".

Go to a swap meet or flea market and buy each other the gaudiest, ugly tea cups you can find. Use the cups whenever you want to have a tea party in an unusual location like under the dining room table or sitting in your car in the garage. If you have sons, call them "soccer Parties" and simply cut the sandwhiches in small circles.

Make homemade Play dough using unsweetened Kool-Aid to get bright colors and scents.

Wake up your kids for school wearing an outlandish costume. Sprinkle glitter on their beds and call it "Mom's Magic Wake-up Powder".

Instead of making an adorable, lacey craft project, try a "Make Something Ugly" craft like a monster made out of papier Mache.

Work together on an "untraditional" mother child activity like teaching your kids to change a car tire or using a power drill. Buy a new bookcase for your daughter's room and work together following the assembly directions. You'll have fun being together and teach your kids valuable skills that promote self-confidence.

Last week, a reporter from the Christian Science Monitor contacted me to ask if I thought kids today were over protected. Here are a few comments I gave her.

About 20 years ago, I directed day camps and worked with thousands of kids. Young campers would jump in creeks, go off rope swings, ride their bikes over homemade jumps and not be afraid to get dirty. Now kids complain if they get a dab of paint on their hands while painting a picture. Last month, I had a 10-year-old tell me he's never used a hammer because his parents think it's dangerous. In fact, I've had parents visit our house before letting their kids come over because they think our rope pulley and other activities are too dangerous. In my parenting sessions, I encourage parents to let kids take risks. If you're at the airport, going on vacation, let your 11-year-old find the right gate, hand tickets to the agent and find the security line. If Grandma sends your child an ugly sweater, let them talk to the store clerk about making an exchange. Encourage kids to build forts and make their own skateboards. The creativity and self confidence they gain are worth more than any educational video game.

Somehow, without any planning on my part, the Olympic Games have been a part of my life. Not in any athletic sense but in a "creating memories" sense. In 1964, as a 12 year old, we visited Innsbruck and had free reign over the whole area…since we arrived a day after the Olympics ended! In 1972, a friend and I were in Munich and accidently followed a group of young adults into a building. We milled around, not sure where we were. Suddenly an official looking man asked us, "Do you need help getting your uniforms? What sport are you competing in?" We were in the uniform distribution center for all the American athletes! So we hung out next to Mark Spitz and tried to look athletic. A few days later, walking around the Olympic Center, we were in the same area where the eight Arab commandos killed two Israeli team members.

In 2002, when Salt Lake City hosted the Olympics, my daughter Sondra and I were selected to carry the Olympic torch through Seattle. I was supposed to run to her, and light her torch with my flame. Yet as I began running to the cheers of bystanders yelling "USA! USA!" and "Go Silvana" I had a fleeting thought of simply passing her by and continuing to run with the torch. Since I had police officers and 6 security people next to me, I think they would have "encouraged" me to pass the flame to my daughter. I dutifully ran my leg of the race and let her have her moment of glory. As the summer Olympics approach, spend some time reading books to your children about Olympic athletes and their determination, training schedules and even their diet. Some of these athletes burn thousands of calories a day just during practice.

Looking for a way to get your children interested in volunteering? How about getting involved with Global Youth Service Day? This event is organized by Youth Service America with the Global Youth Action Network as its key partner and a consortium of international organizations and over 120 national coordinating committees in participating countries. GYSD is an annual global event that highlights and celebrates the contributions of youth to their communities through volunteer service.
During Global Youth Service Day, youth around the world organize community service projects to address local needs. Global Youth Service Day is held during a weekend every April. This year's event is scheduled for April 25-27. Check out their website for details and suggestions of volunteer projects. www.ysa.org/gysd

If you need more ideas, check out "77 Creative Ways Kids Can Serve" which gives kids step by step directions to 77 projects. If you start planning now, your children have a chance to take part in the largest service event in the world by participating in Global Youth Service Day!

300 million children around the world are without a pair of shoes. As many of you know, we are involved with Soles4Souls, a non-profit agency that has distributed over 3 million pairs of shoes to people around the world. Last summer, our family went to remote villages in Guatemala and met children who didn't even own a pair of shoes. We caused quite a commotion in the villages as we passed out flip flops to children and adults!

Soles4Souls has just started a new fund raising program ideal for schools, youth groups and sports teams. While it's great to sell cookie dough and wrapping paper, this program also helps children learn how they can help people in need. Students simply take orders for clogs or flip flops from family and friends. Soles4Souls then distributes the shoes free of charge to people around the world. For every $5.00 flip flops or $10.00 clogs students sell, your organization receives 40% of the proceeds. More important, your child's efforts help put a pair of shoes on the feet of someone in an impoverished or disaster-stricken area of the world.

www.soles4souls.org
615-391-5723

Last week I wrote about the collge selction process through the eyes of a parent...trying to get their high school senior off to college. For a change of pace, here are tips given me by my daughter Sondra. Now we see what it's like to visit a colleg from a teenagers perspective.

Dos & Don'ts for Parents on the College Tour by a Kid Who Took the College Tour with her Parents!
By: Sondra Clark

Do:
• Encourage me to see the realistic picture. I might stay in a dorm room with a student I wouldn't pick as a friend and then totally disregard the entire college. In the same way, we might visit a campus on a beautiful day and I rave how much I love the campus simply because of puffy white clouds and pink cherry blossom trees.
• Let's face the truth. I'm not going to spend 4 years totally sequestered on campus. Take an extra day in the trip and visit the towns around the area. Besides scouting out fun things to do once I get to the college, we might run into alums, who I can ask about the college.
• Let me explore on my own. College tours are great and they usually touch on all the high points of the college. Give me time to wonder around campus without a tour guide so I can get a feel of the "vibe" of the college. I always like visiting the coffee shops on campus because they have their own atmosphere, which is a great indicator of the student body. Theatres, gyms and libraries are usually open so I can peek my head in and explore independently!
• Understand that I might see different things in a college then you do. Yes mom, you're usually impressed with the Tudor ivy covered buildings and the fact that the library has over 100,000 volumes of Shakespeare. I have more interest in intramural sports and what other students said about college professors.
• Make sure the college offers a variety of majors. As much as I would like to think I know what I'm going to major in, I know I will probably change my mind after a year. Help me select a college with more than just my narrow-focus major.

Don't:

• Don't make assumptions on why I like a certain campus or program. Ask questions instead of making assumptions. I've probably given more thought and consideration into the college selection process then you realize. I want to feel I'm making the final decision about a college. I may not freely volunteer my thoughts, but I might answer your questions. (Even though I answer with short sentences!)
• Don't let your opinions of a college overrule my thoughts. I have had countless friends complain how their parents got in the car after a college visit and went on and on about their opinion of the college. Let me give my opinion first and then you can offer your opinion. (In small doses.)
• Don't let me completely rule out a college until I've had time to do research and talk to other students. I was dead set on going to a big east coast school and then realized that I wanted to attend a smaller Christian college. I ended up applying to some of the colleges I initially ruled out. Encourage me to keep "alternative" colleges in mind during the initial stages of college selection.
• Don't push me into a decision. Ultimately I will be the one going to college. Guide me, but don't pressure me to go to a super competitive school if I am an average student without the desire to major in micro-techno-chemical neurology. I realize that there are financial limitations but besides that, let me have the choice. You have raised me for the last 18 years, so please, trust me…I understand the importance of the decision.

END

Many, many years ago, when high school students did assignments on stone tablets, I began my college search. Actually the only thing I searched for was a suitcase to pack my few belongings. My high school drama teacher took a new position at a nearby college and suggested I attend. So I did. No college essays to write, no letters of recommendation extolling my bright mind and quick wit and no SAT's to take. I filled out a paper application, paid my deposit and enrolled. End of college search.

We entered a whole new world when our 18-year-old daughter Sondra began applying to colleges. Expensive glossy catalogs arrived daily, showing smiling students enjoying pizza, lounging on grassy hillsides and even riding unicycles. Who needs pictures of students studying or actually sitting in classes? We visited one ivy covered brick campus after another and finally simply put Sondra on a plane to do her own college visits. So far the record stands at:
Colleges receiving her application packet: 12
Colleges accepting her so far: 8
Results: Confusion about which college to attend!

The following are some tips for parents tackling the college search process:
• Unless your son or daughter is destined to be a bio-nuclear chemo-physics major, the majority of colleges will give your child a decent education. Most companies simply look for college graduates, so don't take the college search so seriously.
• When visiting colleges, take notes, even if your child doesn't. It won't take long to mix-up which college had the new gym and which had a complete TV studio for students. We visited numerous colleges in the south, all with magnolia trees, Tudor styled building and bricked courtyards. Our car drives were punctuated with arguments over which college had the triple room dorms and which had the outdated business lab, because they all blended together.
• Encourage your teen to look at a college that may not fit their "ideal standard". Sondra insisted she wanted to attend a college with 10,000 or more students. We got her to visit a college of 3,500 and she completely changed her mind and saw a smaller college could fit all her needs.
• While it's nice to visit colleges as a family, it drains the budget and work schedule. For Sondra's last two college visits, we sent her from Seattle to the LA area to look at two college. Both schools were more than helpful in picking her up and getting her from place to place. If your child feels comfortable (and you do!) let them try a college visit on their own.
• It's ok to hold off visiting every college. Sondra has been accepted by three colleges she's never visited. Instead of flying off on another trip, we've decide to wait until her financial aid award letter arrives from each school. If the package seems promising, we'll have her visit the campus.
• Teach your son or daughter to make eye contact and speak in full sentences! Many college visits include an interview with the admissions director. This is the time for your child to shine, especially if their grades aren't stellar! Role play shaking hands, and looking the admissions staff directly in the eyes. Rehearse answers to questions such as "What would you change about your high school experience?" Because Sondra is skilled at doing TV and radio interviews, she knew how to handle herself during admissions interviews. Two colleges accepted her after the interview even though her paperwork wasn't complete.
• Relax! While it's nice if your child attends Princeton, most students thrive in the thousands of other colleges offering quality classes taught by caring professors.

Last week I gave three workshops at the Tri-State Camping Conference in Atlantic City. This is my 12th year working with this group. Picture being at a conference with 3,500 high-energy camp directors who live primarily in New York and New Jersey! They have no qualms about interrupting me during my session to make their own point or to disagree with mine.

Many parents don't realize all the behind-the scenes training that goes on before camps start. Here are just a few of the topics these camp directors discussed:
Helping Campers Overcome Homesickness
Fostering Hope and Resiliency in Campers
Behavior Management for Children with Special Needs
Challenge Course Certification Emergency Medical first response

Summer camps are amazing places for children to learn new skills and discover their special talents. Here are a few tips on selecting the right camp for your children:
• Check out www.campparents.org for a listing of hundreds of possible camps.
• For your peace of mind, find an ACA accredited camp. This certification means the camp has been reviewed for over 300 standards to make sure the camp is safe and provides the highest quality camping experience for your child.
• Younger children may not understand what it means to "go to camp". See if you can visit a camp in progress so they understand what it means to be away from you while swimming, playing goofy games and idolizing their wacky counselor.
• For a child's first camp experience, consider a "traditional" camp that offers a variety of activities rather than focusing on computers or performing arts. This experience gives your child a broader camping experience.
• Check out the numerous parenting magazines that offers special Summer Camp editions, describing numerous camp possibilities
• Try and attend a camp fair held in shopping malls or schools. You'll have a chance to meet camp staff and get your particular questions answered.
Happy camping!