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Adjusting the Ballmer Mood Index: 'Intense'

In the aftermath of yesterday's Yahoo-Microsoft-AOL-Google-News Corp. craziness, our research staff has emerged from a series of high-level meetings with the general consensus that an adjustment in the Steve Ballmer Mood Index is in order. Some argued for moving the needle all the way over to "frustrated," but the prevailing hypothesis was that the new competition has caused the Microsoft CEO to bear down even more.

As a result, we're setting the index to "Intense," pending further developments. Here, then, is the adjusted SBMI, along with the original key for anyone who missed it.

Picture
Understanding the Steve Ballmer Mood Index (SBMI)
  • Frustrated: May or may not include chair-throwing, depending on whom you believe.
  • Intense: Characterized by repetition of words for emphasis. ("... very, very, very, very well.")
  • All Business: Not taking "no" -- or "not enough" -- for an answer.
  • Victorious: Characterized by much fist-pumping and whooping.
  • Monkey Boy: State of extreme enthusiasm, with even more repetition of words. Sometimes accompanied by dancing.
  • Posted by at April 10, 2008 11:08 a.m.
    Categories: ,
    Comments
    #116357

    Posted by takemeaway! at 4/10/08 11:28 a.m.

    Lets see if the gorilla knows how to negotiate a "fair" deal. Personally, I would like to see MS get a bloody nose. But, if MS takes the ego out of it (Can they?), they can close the deal.

    #116695

    Posted by unregistered user at 4/10/08 9:27 p.m.

    MS is much too important to have an ego...at least in this universe - although this cannot be guaranteed in parallel ones.

    If they can't have Yahoo, Steve will throw the "super secret magic switch" that Intel/AMD and MS have built into the first round of "Vista Capable" PC's which prevents the letter "G" from being recognized.

    That will teach the infidels for not doing his bidding.

    *olly *ee - that's no *ood. I was tryin* to *oo*le the address of a *reat Pho restaurant and can't *et anythin*

    #116860

    Posted by unregistered user at 4/11/08 10:18 a.m.

    what is with this obsession - compulsive behavior. You've got Ballmer and Kevin Johnson hell bent on taking over Yahoo....while Kevin Turner is setting up internal half billon $ lines of credit for his enterprise partner organization so they can build bigger offshore alliance partnerships with all the Indian outsourcing compannies. can't they just focus on building software that works and that people actually want to use?? Or is Microsoft afraid of having too much cash and just trying to burn through it? I've got an idea - how about hosting a contest to determine which business plans the company should adopt and then fund those - or would that be too simple?

    #117271

    Posted by unregistered user at 4/13/08 2:35 a.m.

    Mr Bishop, the illustrations in your blog have again created spontaneous giggle eruptions of this reader, almost but not quite to the same extent of the ipod spoof.

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