With a little work, I was able to get a pass to attend Monday's taping of "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart" in New York, to write about Bill Gates' appearance on the program. It was a memorable experience, to say the least. Here's the story I filed for Tuesday's newspaper. Sorry to disappoint you, but there was no surprise appearance by "Daily Show" resident expert John Hodgman, a.k.a. the Windows PC from the Apple ads.

Among other things, the appearance was a high-profile dose of publicity for Microsoft. In addition to Gates discussing Windows Vista, the logo was displayed prominently on the Daily Show's big background screens throughout the two-segment interview. At the same time, as noted in the story, Gates surprised Stewart by standing up and walking off stage after shaking hands at the end of the interview, before the commercial break had begun.

Here are of some of the best quotes from Gates, Stewart, and people in the audience, including some additional material that didn't make it into the story:

"He's, like, curing malaria in the Congo. He's not worried about off-Broadway in Philadelphia." -- Stewart, referring to Gates during the pre-show Q&A, when an audience member suggested he ask the Microsoft chairman about the musical "Nerds."

"They're big Windows fans, my friend." -- Stewart, after the audience gave Gates a standing ovation.

"I'm hoping he pulls an Oprah and gives everybody a copy of Vista." -- audience member Joshua Fischel, 33, of New York. (Fischel's hopes were ultimately unfulfilled.)

"Do they advertise? I didn't think they advertised." audience member Skye Reiner, 31, of Los Angeles, referring to Microsoft, when asked how she thought its advertising compared to Apple's ads.

"I'm not particularly versed in computers. ... What does the F12 button do?" -- Stewart, to Gates.

"I'd stay away from that if I were you. Start at F1 and work your way up." -- Gates, in response.