Happy Independence Day! What a day for baseball. I hope many of you are headed to the ballpark today to watch the Mariners take on the second most disappointing team in the majors, the Detroit Tigers. It should be a fun game and a good time.

In the spirit of American individuality and joie de vivre, today I'd like to recognize a special Mariners fan that, to me, represents a dedication to baseball-related enjoyment that we should all aspire to. I don't know his real name- I've heard him called "Red", I've heard him called "Courage the Rally Lion", but around these parts (translation- my brain) he's simply known as: Beltre Man.

If you've watched a game on television in the last couple of years, you've most likely seen Beltre Man. He's an enthusiastic, roguish red-headed kid with matching creative facial hair. His flame colored hair is not his distinguishing feature, however. Beltre Man is recognizable by his deep, undying, effusive, outspoken adoration of Adrian Beltre.

I really started paying attention to Beltre Man last season, when he sat directly behind home plate for several games. (I'm guessing he was part of a season ticket package or something.) He was always cheering, but when Beltre would come up to bat, he would stand up and scream like a complete and total maniac. It was one of the most adorable things I have ever witnessed. And he always had some crazy sign to express his Beltre appreciation in some expressive, often borderline mental way, like or "I *HEART* BELTRE!" or just a fifteen-times-larger-than-life photo of Beltre's face on a giant stick. Simple and effective.

He became a favorite of mine and grew to be a favorite of the whole family. Occasionally I'd be doing something in the kitchen and Mr. Housewife would call, "Hey, Beltre Man's here tonight!" and I'd come running in. Once Brendan Ichiro recognized him- "is that Beltway Man?" he asked me during a game one evening. I was quite proud.

This season, Beltre Man sightings have been more scarce, (and I'll be honest with you, I haven't exactly been glued to each and every second of each and every game with this team), but my Beltre Man dry spell was broken one otherwise uneventful Friday night game against the Nationals.

It was, appropriately, Beltre bobblehead night. All of a sudden, who should appear on my screen but a super excited fellow with flaming red hair, waving madly to the camera, wearing a Dominican Republic WBC jersey with Beltre's name on the back. In addition, he had a giant Beltre bobblehead on the seat next to him. I mean, this thing was like one-third of a person sized; roughly the size of Tom Cruise. The fact that it had its own seat led me to conclude that one of two things had happened- either, A. he actually purchased an extra seat especially for this giant bobblehead, or B. he had planned on bringing a date, but the date changed her mind upon meeting the giant bobblehead. Either one would be equally believable.

Giant Beltre Bobblehead wasn't just idly sitting there watching the game, either- Beltre Man was ensuring his participation by actively bobbing the giant head up and down wildly at all the plays the real Beltre was involved in. It turned out the Mariners lost that game (surprise), but it was made a little more bearable by the appearance of Beltre Man. Turns out it paid off, too- although I missed it, I hear the actual Beltre gave Beltre Man his bat that night.

So Beltre Man, I salute you. You're a hardcore fan and you're not afraid to show it. If I were to run into you at a bar, I would almost certainly recognize you, and I guarantee I would immediately buy you a beer. And I hope that when Beltre leaves this team at the end of the season, as he almost certainly will, if he even lasts that long, you'll find another player to be equally rabid about. Betancourt Man has a nice ring to it, maybe?

I'm kidding you, of course I still have no hope for this ridiculous team. How naive do you think I am? But hey, at least the last couple of games have been kind of fun to watch, eh? It's almost like we got upgraded from a "sell" to a "don't buy"! Break out the Mission Accomplished banner!

Considering what a dreary season we've been having, I've surprised myself by enjoying these past few series'. I usually find interleague play about as exciting as watching paint dry, but for some reason these little NL East fellas are fun to watch. (Except Atlanta- there's something hardwired in my brain that prevents me from feeling any warmth at all toward the Braves.) The Mets are an interesting team, and I actually feel really bad for them right now. Losing to the Mariners has to be pretty embarrassing these days.

And the Nationals are charmingly thuggish in a very sweet way- you can tell that these guys really care about what they're doing. What a striking contrast. I found it jarring to realize, as I watched those games against Washington, that I found the Nationals more compelling and likable than the M's. Did you hear that, Seattle FO? I was finding the Washington Nationals easier to root for than the team I've been living and breathing for the past several years. Um yeah, that indicates a pretty big problem.

I don't know what Riggleman's been doing to get some production out of this team, but whatever it is, it's working. I guess. But please, let us make no mistake- Richie Sexson still needs to go. Pronto. Am I alone here? I can't believe that a guy can be this terrible for the entire season- and much longer- and then he gets a couple sac flies and one double and everybody's like, "oh good, Sexson's back! Here comes his big comeback that we've been waiting for since 2005! Yippee!" Please. Stop. Congratulations on your sole extra base hit this month Richie. Now please go away.

Also, I am sick to death of hearing about how Richie hits the ton out of the ball, only to have it head right into the glove of some outfielder. Guess what, no matter how hard you hit the ball, if someone catches it, it still doesn't count. I appreciate the efforts of the announcers to make me feel better about this team- it's got to be an incredibly tough job, and God bless them for trying- but enough already.

So when are we going to see some real changes? For now it appears that firing McLaren was a good move, and I certainly won't argue the fact that Bavasi needed to go. But it also feels a little like the FO is doing things to appear competent. It's like a "How To Make Fans Believe You're Doing Something" checklist. Fire a coach, in this case hitting- check. Fire GM- check. Fire manager- check. Fabulous. So now let's see some more changes to this team, like cutting the dead weight. We keep hearing over and over how the players are the problem, so when do we see the players feel some of the consequences?

And when can we get rid of Bedard? He's not doing himself any favors regarding trade value in Seattle, I'm not sure what his strategy is. But he certainly hasn't done anything to appeal to Seattle fans. By which I don't just mean smiling and signing autographs- I mean, playing up to his potential and appearing to care about this team. And if you argue that it's not his job to care about what the fans think, then what exactly is he getting paid millions of dollars for?

Sigh. I don't have any realistic expectations that these guys will improve drastically, especially this year. I just want to see the M's upgraded from a "Don't Buy" to a "Risky".

We have just witnessed one of the most depressing moments of an incredibly depressing season, following closely on the heels of one of- if not the- most exhilarating.

I was barely even going to watch this game, because I'm mad at just about everyone on this team whose name is not Felix. But since it was a King Felix day, and it was looking like a good pitching matchup, and because the laws of probability dictate that the Mariners have to occasionally win a game, I'm watching.

Felix's grand slam was a beaut. And I hate the word "beaut", but I can't think of another way to describe it. I sooo did not think it was out of here, and for a few minutes I was actually excited about baseball again! Our first grand slam of the year, and the M's first home run by a pitcher! It couldn't have happened to a better guy, and I was looking forward to reliving that moment again and again thanks to the wonders of the DVR.

I can't remember the last time I've had the wind taken out of my sails so quickly. The initial report is a sprained left ankle. I've seen the play a hundred times and it's still a blur. The very worst, most painful part, though, is not the instant replay that we'll see again and again. The worst part was Felix fighting to keep pitching, the pain and disappointment on his face, the anguish as he argued futilely with the trainer and the coaches and the rest of the team to keep going. Your heart just breaks for this kid. He was having one of the most outstanding games of his career, and to have this happen is pretty upsetting.

And I know it's not nice to say, but I hope Erik Bedard feels like a real jerk right about now.

Well, we knew this was coming sooner or later. I wish McLaren only the best, I think he's a good guy that was dealing with a pretty crappy job. I hope he is relieved and happy and can move on quickly. And hey, at least they didn't fire him in the middle of the night!

Jim Riggleman is our interim manager- I remember his days with the Cubbies well. Should be interesting to see how things progress.

Never a dull moment here in Seattle I tell you... word on the street is that the M's might finally be ready to let go of Richie Sexson. I think I speak for almost everyone when I say, yes please! (Although it seems like my dream of Kenji at first isn't going to come true- apparently Joh is just so not into it. Can't have everything I suppose.)

The scary thing about trying to pinpoint this season's very worst moment is, then you start thinking of ways that it could get worse. Like, say, if we get swept by the Marlins. Or, worse, if we were to lose all of our games against these wacky National Leaguers. Although we can take some small comfort in the fact that the Mets are kind of a train wreck as well.

But unless something really dramatically, absurdly awful happens, I'm thinking that getting swept by the Washington Nationals, a team who had not as yet swept any series before coming up against our historical awfulness, was likely the low point of the season. And thank goodness someone in the Front Office noticed- if there hadn't been some kind of major firing after that debacle, we could have been dealing with some serious rioting, as opposed to the mass outbreak of baseball apathy that has thus far been the primary form of fan protest.

When the news broke about Bavasi, my mom called to see what my feelings were on the subject. "Still basically hopeless," was my initial response, because I forget what it feels like to think your team might have a chance at winning even an individual game. In reality, my feeling is that it will be a good long-term move. But it's hard to focus on the long-term when the short-term keeps kicking me in the ribs and pulling my hair-it's distracting. Even so, at this point any change is a good thing, especially change near the top like this.

Granted, we showed zero percent improvement last night, but it's really got to go uphill from here. At the very worst, at least it won't be the same old boring style of subpar play- it could be subpar play with a slightly different look! Right? So, uh, hooray, I guess! Yeah, I'm not ready to get my hopes up and believe that the M's will all of a sudden start playing decent baseball. But I'd be happy to at least watch something less embarrassing.

Bavasi's departing comments were certainly interesting, don't you think? (You can see video of his final M's press conference here.) Keep in mind that he's discussing the team that he basically put together. He sure seems to hate Erik Bedard, which is a little weird, because wasn't Bavasi in fact the M's general manager when we gave up two really good players to get Bedard? Wasn't Bavasi involved in the transaction? Or was he on vacation that day, I'm very confused. In fact I'm confused by his overall attitude toward the players in general. He seems to think that they're all nice guys who are not good at playing baseball. Again, weird, because it was my understanding that he was getting paid to hire guys who are primarily good baseball players with niceness not as much a factor. Was he not informed of this? Was there a major miscommunication here? Or is he just being a jerk? I seriously don't understand this dude.

But out with the old, in with the new, and we'll just have to wait and see what happens next. Out on the field, I'm personally very happy to see Ichiro back in right, because hey, why not. He's a great right fielder, and maybe a miracle will happen so we get some magnificent center fielder. Yeah, that could happen, because who wouldn't want to play on a team of "really nice guys", right?

I'm also really interested to see if they throw Kenji Johjima in at first base. I'm all for it, despite having no idea if the guy can even play at first. But I think we're all ready for a Sexson-free team. It would be a wonderful world if Kenji could make a go of it at first and Jeff Clement could catch, and while he's at it, learn how to hit at the major league level. Except let's have Kenji catch for Washburn all the time, just to tick him off.

At this point baseball is just making me weary, so it would be lovely if the M's could just go win one stinking game- you know, to shake things up. Keep the fans guessing.

Well finally!

Well finally, the heads are starting to roll. I've been refreshing seattlemariners.com to see when the McLaren firing announcement is going to come. But wouldn't you know it, the first head to roll was one of my favorites. Why oh why did it have to be my beloved Jeff Pentland to be sent out the door first? I adored Jeff Pentland! He was like a grandfather to me! An imaginary grandfather that I never actually met, whose personality was created largely in my own imagination, based on an combination of Wilford Brimley in "The Natural" and James Cromwell's kindly-but-gruff farmer in "Babe", to be sure, but still!

I'm exaggerating of course- but only a little. I'm telling the truth when I say that I was really fond of Pentland, and I'm pretty sure I've mentioned that numerous times. It's not a surprise that he was fired, of course, just like it's not going to be a surprise when the rest of the coaching staff goes. And I'm probably going to be sad about some of that too. Right or wrong, for me, bonding with players and coaches is part of being a fan. Honestly, if I really didn't care about individual players and was only looking for a straight winner, would I be a Mariners fan? I'm pretty sure the answer is sadly obvious. I would totally root for the Angels if my sole priority was to watch my team go to the playoffs every year. I wish that was the case, it would make it easier to switch allegiances. But I must have seriously angered someone in a previous life, because here I am, stuck with the Mariners. And, well, ouch.

So if you're anything like me, you might want to prepare yourself. With very few exceptions, it's starting to look like almost anybody you're fond of on this team might be the next to go. It's not going to be just the coaches of course. Trade action is going to heat up soon, and what choice does this team have outside of a fire sale? I think at this point about the best thing we're going to get for Sexson is a pudding cup and some strawberry milk. So we're going to be shopping nearly everyone, I'd imagine. It's not going to be fun. But at least it will be something different. We've already been dealt the worst blow- we've lost our hope for our team this year. But it's going to take some major changes to avoid extending that loss of hope into the next decade. You know what I'm saying?

Incidentally, did you guys see "Ironman"? I haven't seen it yet, but a friend of mine just sent me an image of Jeff Bridges as the bad guy. Anybody else see the Bavasi resemblance?

As I was watching us lose to the nearly 100% personality-free Angels last night, I thought wistfully, "remember when we thought we could beat these guys?" It seems like just yesterday I was dreaming about victory over the dreaded LAA's of A. But the key word there is "dreaming". Did we ever really think we could beat the Angels? Oh sure, I might have talked myself into thinking I did, but that's not saying much because I can talk myself into believing nearly anything, especially when it comes to baseball. The bigger question is, did the FO really think so? Was Bavasi really convinced that we were going to be a competitive team?

I have to assume that he was, at least to some extent. And a good portion of the media was fooled as well. So what the heck happened? As we've discussed before, this is a team that has managed to seriously underperfom on basically every level. Offensively we're just horrible, our defense is among the worst in baseball, and our team ERA is battling with the Rangers for highest in the AL. Basically, we can't win games to save our lives. This is staggeringly unacceptable for a team with this kind of payroll.

So what happens next? Tell me we're not going to be forced to drag ourselves through the rest of the season, watching more of the same depressing, boring, punishing baseball we've been seeing so far. Heads must roll. And I never say that. NEVER. But a disappointment of this caliber has to create some kind of reaction from the top down. It has to! Doesn't it? I'm not the one to make the call as to who needs to go and who needs to replace them, but there's got to be some kind of shakeup coming here, and fast. It's astounding that so little has been changed up to this point, and I cannot stand to watch this team standing still while continuing to embarrass themselves.

Here's the scary thing- I'm a hardcore crazy Seattle Mariners fan. But I'm having a pretty hard time forcing myself to care about the Seattle Mariners right now. And a lot of that has to do with how very little it appears that the powers that be care about putting together a winning team. That is not cool with me. I don't want to become disillusioned! I love my illusions! They're my best friends! I want to hold onto them!

Here's what this team excels at: they keep you guessing as to exactly how they are going to lose. Take Sunday's game against the Yankees for instance; if you're anything like me, you were spending the whole time thinking, how soon is Washburn going to blow this? And then, surprise! Turns out it wasn't Washburn at all, it was the bullpen plus some wacky defensive hilarity! I didn't see that one coming, they totally tricked me!

You see, so the season is not totally bereft of entertainment. What's going to happen tonight? Are we going to be down by nine runs by the third inning? Will we see unusually strong starting pitching and a completely non-existent offensive effort? How will we screw this one up? It's so hard to predict, and that's what is just so exciting about this team.

Last night as soon as the Red Sox took a two to one lead in the eighth, I immediately declared that it was over. Even as the Mariners were trying to rally in the ninth, I was happy to watch them at least get some hits, but I had no doubt at all in my mind that the we had a zero percent chance of winning. And the very worst part is, last night was the happiest I have felt about a Mariners game in about a month. Because, hey, at least there was a little bit of offense, right? At least Felix had a good seven innings, right? Um, yeah. Right. I wasn't sure it could get worse, but we've been reduced to looking for ways the Mariners are not completely useless and comforting ourselves with that. Pretty sad. We've only won five games in the entire month of May- seriously, how far away could rock bottom possibly be?

I do have to mention one aspect of last night's game which really did provide some baseball entertainment, though, and this time I'm speaking without sarcasm- did you see Ichiro's insanely amazing catch? The one where he jumped way up and ran directly into the wall, practically broke completely through it, made the crazy catch, and managed to adjust his hat before even hitting the ground? That was awesome. It reminded me of a time when I used to enjoy watching baseball.

This is how deeply traumatizing the experience of being a Mariners fan in 2008 has become. Tonight I turned the game on at the top of the fourth inning and saw that the score was three to nothing. Shrug and sigh, no big surprise. It took me until the bottom of the fifth to realize it was the Mariners who had the three. My mind has gotten that used to losing, it's really unhealthy. Is it possible that this season is killing baseball for me?