I had a reader ask a question and I thought I'd answer it here rather than in the comments section. I know not everyone reads the comments and since other people might be interested, well, why not blog about it? Here was the question:

…do you have any info or thoughts about Tamoxifen? I have a friend dealing with this issue, after her surgery, and wonder whether you have any thoughts about how to be supportive as she tries to decide whether to follow the suggestion of her doc.

For those of you not familiar with Tamoxifen, it's a drug commonly used to treat women with breast cancer. Answers.com defines it specifically as:

A nonsteroidal estrogen antagonist used in the treatment of advanced breast cancer in women whose tumors are estrogen-dependent and also used prophylactically by some women at risk for breast cancer.

Does that sound Greek to you? That's okay. I didn't know medical-speak either, until I got cancer. So let me give a brief explanation and then I'll get on to the question.

Estrogen plays a part in about 75% of breast cancer cases. Estrogen hasn't necessarily been proven to cause breast cancer (at least as far as current research shows) but once breast cancer is present the estrogen can "fuel" the cancer, so to speak. The idea behind a drug like Tamoxifen (and others like it) is to "turn off" that fuel source by blocking estrogen. No fuel means a better chance that the cancer will fizzle out and/or not recur at a later date.

I was one of the 25% whose cancer was not fueled by estrogen, so I wasn't treated with Tamoxifen. That is both good and bad. Good because the drug has troublesome side-effects that I thankfully never had to endure, but bad because that was one less weapon in my cancer arsenal.

So do I have any info or thoughts about Tamoxifen? Well since I never took the drug I don't have any personal experience with it but I have some basic knowledge of it. I don't know if your friend is pre or post-menopausal and that makes a difference as to the side-effects. Women who are pre-menopausal will be kicked into a fast and furious early menopause by taking Tamoxifen, which is a big concern for many women. Not only are menopausal symptoms bothersome, but if she had plans to have children then Tamoxifen would put the kibosh on that. Depending on her age, some younger women will regain their menstrual cycle (and their fertility) after their course of Tamoxifen is finished (which unfortunately is usually 5 years). Others who are pre-menopausal but older (mid-30s and up) will sometimes lose their fertility for good.

So depending on her age and her plans for future children, Tamoxifen is a gamble. By not taking the drug she preserves her fertility but the trade-off is that she's taking a risk by not using a drug that could prevent a cancer recurrence. It's a tough call, and a very personal choice.

For me, even though my cancer was not estrogen-sensitive my oncologist was going to put me on it anyway had I chosen to keep my healthy breast. He said that even though this cancer wasn't estrogen-sensitive most breast cancers are, and should my remaining breast develop cancer it very well could be estrogen-sensitive. The purpose of the Tamoxifen in my case would have been an attempt to keep my good boob behaving itself. Since I ended up choosing a double-mastectomy the preventative Tamoxifen became unnecessary.

My advice for your friend is to learn as much as she can about Tamoxifen. Learn about its risks and its benefits so she can make an informed decision. Search the internet for info, but be cautious and stick to legitimate medical sites like the American Cancer Society, National Cancer Institute, BreastCancer.org, Seattle Cancer Care Alliance, etc. Make a list of questions and bring them to her doctor. After she's done that, then she should do some serious soul-searching about it. What course of action will give you the most peace of mind? What route will still allow you to lead the life you want to lead?

For me, I knew if I didn't treat my cancer with every treatment available to me and later on it recurred, I would never forgive myself. I also knew that I would spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder wondering if the cancer was going to come back. The only thing that was going to give me peace of mind was to do it all, so that's what I did. Had Tamoxifen been relevant in my case, I would have taken it. While that would have been my choice, it's not the right choice for everyone.

As her friend, the best thing you can do to support her is to encourage her to inform herself, ask questions, and then once she's armed herself with all that information, encourage her to trust her gut instinct. I can say without a doubt the best decisions I've made in my life were the ones where I trusted my gut. The doctors know medicine but we know ourselves, and ultimately we are the ones who have to live with the results.

You are a good friend for wanting to help her! For more ideas on helping a friend through a tough time, check out my blog 10 Things You Can Do To Support A Friend.

Regardless of your political party, your political views, or how you plan to vote in November, I hope you will watch this video and let his words inspire you. (It's okay to be inspired, even if you are voting for the other guy. :) ) He's right when he says we aren't red states or blue states, we are the UNITED States of America. On this Independence Day let's not forget those words we learned long ago in elementary school, and let's not forget who we are: ONE nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

Happy Independence Day to you all!

Two things: I want to tell you about a new blog here on the PI, and then I want to tell you about a comment on one of the first posts.

Boob Talk is definitely a blog worth checking out. Written by Elisabeth Squires, aka The Boob Lady, it's a question & answer column about breasts. You may think you know everything you need to know about your boobs, but trust me, you probably don't!

This witty and informative book by Elisabeth Squires is a must-read!

I actually kinda sorta know The Boob Lady. She is a friend of my close gal pal Whitney Keyes. Elisabeth wrote a book called "bOObs: A Guide to Your Girls" (which is a must-read, btw) and she did a brief interview with me about my breast cancer experience prior to publishing her book. I later got to meet Elisabeth at her book launch, and that's where I also met author Tania Katan. Both are very cool women!

So a few days ago Elisabeth sent an email to her Boob Lady fans about her new blog. I immediately had to go check it out. If The Boob Lady is writing it, I knew it would be filled with valuable information and lots of wit! And of course, the first five posts do not disappoint.

Her second post is titled, "Bras and Breast Cancer". I won't reiterate the post – I'll let you go read it for yourself. What I want to tell you about is the very first comment. It reads:

I have been perplex by the amazing support of people in the fight against breast cancer. But I still don't know what is the big deal? Can't women just "chop-off" the infected area of the breast and get it over with? Why so much outcry? It seem to me that its a simple choice...you either die or you live. Can someone please respond to this...it is very annoying.

First, let me say that this comment doesn't offend me. Another reader commented that they found it "incredibly offensive" and while I certainly understand why, the comment didn't ruffle my feathers.

Why? Because it's a common misconception that breast cancer isn't a big deal anymore, and I just can't blame people for not knowing what they don't know. Unfortunately the surge of breast cancer awareness in recent years has been accompanied by a fair amount of misconception and misinformation. I'm not sure exactly why, but maybe people think because breast cancer is getting so much attention that it must also be fairly under control?

While no one has said this to me personally, I know of women who – upon sharing their diagnosis – actually had someone say, "At least you got the good kind of cancer!" Obviously there is no such thing as "the good kind of cancer" but I think people want to believe that there is. Cancer scares the hell out of people and maybe it's just easier to believe that medical science has come so far that it's not a big deal anymore.

So I wasn't offended by that person's comment but it did make me a little sad. Sad because this person – due to their misconception that breast cancer isn't a big deal – lacks compassion for those afflicted by breast cancer. It's a horrible disease that I wouldn't wish on anyone. You can't just "chop off the infected area of the breast and get it over with". There's really no getting over cancer once you've had it. It leaves an indelible mark – both physically and emotionally – on anyone who's had it.

But it's not just that. The comment also made me sad because if she's a woman she may not be as proactive as she needs to be with her own breast health. If the commenter is a man then he may minimize the importance of breast health to the women in his life. People need to understand there is no cure for cancer and there's no real way to prevent it. You can lead the healthiest lifestyle possible and still get it. In fact, 1 in 3 women and 1 in 2 men will get some type of cancer in their lifetime. Now that doesn't mean your efforts are futile – you can't do anything to guarantee you won't get cancer but you can (and should) do things to lower your risk. But for all the advances in the field of cancer medicine your best chance for survival is still by catching it early. The catchy phrase, "the best protection is early detection" is exactly right.

People like this commenter need to know that breast cancer is serious, it's deadly, and it's a very big deal. I replied with my own comment (go check it out) and hope that whoever made that comment will read mine. Hopefully I did my small part to dispel their misconception, and anyone else reading it who may feel the same.

So go. Go read Boob Talk. It's a great blog, Elisabeth is a great lady, and if anyone knows boobs it's her. You are sure to learn something reading her blog. Guys, you too. Share the info with the women in your life. And who knows, you may even learn something by reading the comments too. :)

My parents were here for a visit recently and we decided to rent The Bucket List. If you haven't seen it, it's about two older men who end up rooming together in a cancer ward and both find out their illness is terminal. So together they come up with a Bucket List – that is, things they want to do before they kick the bucket – and set out on an adventure to experience as many of them as they can.

It's not a new idea, although in the past I'd always heard it referred to as a Life List. In fact, I actually started a Life List years ago. I've been able to cross some things off as I did them (earn a Masters degree, be a singer in a band, read the Bible cover to cover, to name a few) and added new ones. The list continues to evolve.

But like so many things, the list fell by the wayside. Seeing the movie reminded me to resurrect my list. Unlike the men in the movie, however, I haven't been given 6 months to live (thankfully). My cancer has been dealt with so I don't feel the need to power through my list. Still, having a list is a good reminder to get out there and do the things I want to do and live the life I want to live.

So here are a few things on my Bucket List (I like the term Bucket List better than Life List – it's more playful and irreverent). I'm sharing just 10 of them because, well, you know me and my lists of 10 things.

1. Go bungee jumping
2. Complete a triathlon
3. Run a marathon
4. Try hang gliding
5. Write and publish a book
6. See the world! Places like Australia, New Zealand, France, Italy, Sweden, and Greece top my list
7. Go on an African wildlife safari
8. Adopt a child/children
9. Learn to play guitar
10. Ride in a hot air balloon

Some of these things I'm already working on, some I'll get to eventually. As long as I'm moving toward at least one of them at a time then my list has meaning. I don't want to find myself old and filled with regrets; I want to be the old woman who has lots of stories to tell!

What about you, my friends? We all have a Bucket List even if we've never formally written it down. We all have things we hope to experience or accomplish before we kick the bucket. Let's not wait until we're terminal to start living. No matter how young or old you are, write down your list and then go for it!

So tell me, what's on YOUR list?

I came across this goofy Boobie Name Generator via The bOOb Lady's Blog. According to this web tool my boobies are named Tweedledee and Tweedledum. I guess I was way off when I named them the Wonder Twins – apparently they're the Tweedle Twins. Ha!

Go ahead, give it a try. Guys, you try it too. What are your boobies named?

You haven't heard from me in over a week because I was on VACATION.

I love vacation. Who doesn't? Even though my life is currently low-stress it's still fun to get away and get some sunshine. (Being from the northwest we of course were lily white when we got there, promptly got sunburned even with sunscreen on, and are now peeling like lizards. Sigh.) We spent a week in Florida, which was my first time vacationing there.

The beach was BEAUTIFUL. The sand was so white and so fine it was almost like powder. No exaggeration. The water was the perfect temperature and the waves just the right size. The slope was so gentle that you could go quite a ways out and still stand on the ocean floor. And the water was so blue!

We also got to see several turtles, lots of tiny lizards scurrying around, and even one gator – and not in a zoo! The thing was swimming in a pond near a golf course and was about 5 or 6 feet long. Creepy and cool all at the same time! Thankfully we didn't see any snakes (like Indiana Jones, I HATE snakes – ewww).

The humidity in May was not bad at all, but the people in Sarasota were anything but friendly. That was the one disappointing part of the trip. We had a couple of exceptions, but for the most part the people – especially the retail workers in the touristy part of town – were NOT welcoming. Oh well, screw 'em. We had fun anyway.

Now here's one very interesting thing about the trip – this was the first time I've been swimming since I've gotten breast implants. As you can guess, it felt very weird. It's hard to explain. They felt a little buoyant, but just slightly, so that part wasn't too crazy weird. The part that was weird was how they felt when I was moving my arms to do swim strokes.

If you remember, my implants were placed under my pectoral muscles. When I do movements that use my pecs, my muscles "grab" the implant and it feels very weird. It makes them move and the implant shape actually distorts. It's so creepy feeling that I will happily never do push-ups again.

But swimming – I love swimming. I was on a swim team as a kid. As an adult I went many, many years without real swimming; i.e. swimming laps and not just splashing around. But about two years ago – a few months before my diagnosis, in fact – I rekindled my love for swimming laps. It took me several times out before I got the hang of it again, but once I did I loved it.

So here I am last week in Florida, and we get in the pool. I tried doing the breaststroke (ha! how ironic) and with my new foobs under the muscle it felt so creepy that I could barely do it. This immediately bummed me out, although I kept a happy face in front of everyone else. They didn't need me putting a damper on their fun, you know?

But when I swim laps I mostly do the crawl and only do the breaststroke as a "resting" stroke. I don't have to do the breaststroke to swim laps. But how was it going to feel when I did the crawl? That's what really mattered.

So I gave it a few strokes. It felt a little strange, but not nearly as bad as doing the breaststroke. I was cautiously relieved. I might actually be able to go back to swimming. So throughout the week I periodically did a few strokes whenever I was in the water to see how it felt. Could I get used to this little bit of strangeness?

In the end I determined that I can. What a relief! If I couldn't swim anymore I was going to be really ticked off and really, really bummed. It's a goal of mine to someday do a triathlon (I had started training for one before my diagnosis, but my mastectomy surgery put the kibosh on that) and swimming is an important part of that. If these stupid implants stood in the way of that dream I'm not sure what I would do. I might have half a mind to have the damn things taken out. Thankfully, it looks like that probably won't need to happen. Time will tell, but for now I feel good about the fact that the weirdness is tolerable and hopefully I can get used to it all together.

So that was my trip! Overall a good vacation. Oh! I almost forgot the best part! Since we used frequent flyer miles to pay for our airfare, we got upgraded to FIRST CLASS. So cool! I felt a bit out of my element and even a little unworthy to be there, but man, it sure was nice. It almost made up for the grouchy Floridians.

Two years ago today, Bill and I found ourselves in an unlikely position. We sat nervously in an exam room waiting the results of my breast biopsy.

Today, May 25th, is my two-year cancerversary.

If you google the word "cancerversary" and then click on "images" you may be surprised at what you find. Pages and pages of ordinary people, smiling and celebrating. Why in the world would someone celebrate getting cancer?

I talked about this a bit last year. According to the National Coalition for Cancer Survivorship (NCCS), "…from the moment of diagnosis and for the balance of life, an individual diagnosed with cancer is a survivor." The celebration is not about cancer, it's about surviving cancer. It seems weird, I know, but here in Cancer World that's what we do. We celebrate the day of our diagnosis. I guess it's our way of taking back our power from something that makes us feel so powerless.

Last year I went out to dinner with friends to celebrate the occasion. But this year, interestingly enough, I forgot all about it. Bill and I were helping a friend move all day. We stopped to buy some boxes and while my friend was writing her check she asked the clerk the date. "It's the 25th." At that point it dawned on me that it was my cancerversary.

I remember last year feeling a bit stressed about it being my one-year cancerversary. I felt like I should celebrate it, and yet I didn't really want to. I felt weird about it. Admittedly the celebration was kind of forced on my part, although I didn't share that with anyone at the time. I wanted to be happy about the fact that I had survived a year, and yet it was very difficult to feel happy about anything to do with cancer. So I faked it.

But that's he thing about making lemon margaritas out of life's lemons. It's a choice, not something that comes naturally. Sometimes the only way to feel positive about something so negative is to force yourself to do something positive. And by doing we change our feelings. As the saying goes, "fake it 'til you make it".

The fact I forgot about it this year just tells me that it's not as big a deal to me as it was last year. Which is a good thing. That means I am moving beyond it, getting on with my life. I faked it, and I'm making it. It's true that I still have foob issues to deal with, but that's really just a footnote to the rest of it. The worst of it was over a long time ago.

Soon Bill and I will be vacationing in Florida with his brother and his wife and I'm sure one night over dinner we will raise a belated toast to the occasion. (We'll toast with margaritas, of course!) But today was just a day of quiet remembrance.

Glancing at the clock I realize it's just moments before midnight. Happy Cancerversary.

It's happening again. My right foob is on the move.

Sigh… I can't say that I'm not disappointed. Obviously I am. With a bra you can't tell, but I still have to see it. Not to mention it feels weird.

Right after my exchange surgery I mentioned I had puckering on the right side, but that has slowly relaxed over time. Unfortunately along with that relaxing process the implant is lowering. If this puppy keeps heading south then it won't be long before its back where it was when I had my expanders. That sucks.

I've been in denial about it for a while. I could tell it was dropping and loosening up but I didn't want to admit it to myself. Finally last week I asked Bill to tell me if the right one is lower now. He gave it an honest look and said, "Yep, it's definitely lower." Hmmm.

A couple of days later I asked him again, and he gave me the same answer. I grabbed a book lying on the dresser and held it underneath my foobs – giving me a straight line – in the hopes that it would give me a more objective perspective. Bill grabs a nearby pencil, puts it on the book and says, "Here, let's see if it's level." The pencil rolled right off. Damn.

Then today I had him take pictures. I don't know about you but pictures seem to be more telling than the mirror. And, well, the pictures didn't look great. Bill was right, Righty is definitely lower.

You know, I don't care about near-perfection anymore. I went through a stage when I did, but that was back when I had expanders and those things were really weird. They looked weird, they felt weird and they were hard as Hades. I was just worried my permanent implants wouldn't be much better.

Thankfully they are better, but they aren't wonderful. I've seen reconstructed breasts that look beautiful and ones that look horrible. I am neither. Compared to pictures I've seen I'd put myself in the "pretty good" category. Potentially I can have some revisions done to lift the right side up again, but that would mean more surgery. Do I really want to bother? At what point do you decide that pretty good is good enough?

Today as I looked at the pictures we took, for the first time I thought to myself, I miss my real breasts. My real ones weren't perfect by any stretch, but they were real. They weren't symmetrical, they weren't perky, but the imperfections were natural ones and at least they felt real. Now I've got a chest that's been mangled and jerry-rigged back together. Such is life.

When my next appointment rolls around in August we'll see how things have settled and decide what, if anything, we want to do. For now, it is what it is. I guess I need to remember it's just not possible to put Humpty Dumpty back together again and expect him to be good as new. As that old song from the 60s says, "ain't nothin' like the real thing, baby."

Our internet service went down yesterday. Suddenly, I didn't know what to do with myself. I'm a writer and a blogger – what is my life without the internet? OMG, my whole world just came to a halt!

Okay, I'm exaggerating (sort of), but it is amazing how dependent I am on technology. At our house the computers (note "computer" is plural) get used more than the TV. We're just computer geeky people. Hubby was a computer science major and has worked at Microsoft since he graduated from college. I became interested in his world and got hooked, becoming a computer geek by association. I even worked at Microsoft for four years myself.

I love the computer. Love it. Love it love it love it.

Because we have DSL we are always connected to the internet. So if the computer is on, I'm connected. Even if I'm off cleaning the kitchen I'm still on the internet. I love the internet. I spend hours a day on the internet. Not goofing around, mind you, but reading and learning. I read about adoption. I read about parenting. I read about writing. I read about cancer (which was a godsend when I was diagnosed, let me tell you). A little goofing around too, yes, but mostly not.

And when I'm not on the internet reading, I'm writing, which is still on the computer. Writing is my job now, and one of these days I'm going to get paid for it. I will! Just you wait!!

Bill teases me that when he leaves for work in the morning and when he comes home at night I'm still in the same spot on the couch with my laptop. He claims there's a divot in the couch where I like to sit and he calls it my hole. I just sit in my hole all day. Or so he says. I retort that he sits in his office all day and that my hole is my office. My office is just comfier than his.

Wow, I sound like a recluse, don't I? I'm actually very social and love to be around people when I can. But most of my friends work the usual 9 – 5, so when I don't have errands to run you can find me in my hole. Er, I mean my home office.

But I digress. So the internet goes down yesterday, I've been sick for days (hubby too) and I have little energy for anything else. I could clean the house, go for a walk, or brush the dogs, but I feel terrible. So what do I do? I play FreeCell on my laptop while Bill plays Grand Theft Auto, until I'm so bored I can't stand it anymore and beg him to watch TV instead.

Man, I'm pathetic.

Ah, but the internet has returned. The universe has regained its balance and my life has been restored. The disturbance in The Force has been rectified. I am still coughing and blowing an insane amount of snot out of my nose, but as long as I've got the internet I'm good.

In honor of Mother's Day, here's a funny video of two brothers trying to take a picture for their mom for Mother's Day. It makes me laugh every time I watch it!

Remind me not to adopt two boys. (Just kidding!)

Happy Mother's Day to all you wonderful moms out there!