Posted by Christina Hyun at 4/19/07 2:00 p.m.

I love what your husband said. I agree.
I love your blog heading - how refreshing.

Over the years, I've gone back and forth about the idea of "finding the One". If I'm honest, I don't know if I believe that anyone knows 100%, even when standing at the altar. I think most people have a percentage of doubt, just as they have a percentage of certainty. And that's where your husband's statement comes into play. I don't think love is only a feeling. And I don't think love is only a choice. It's this odd mixture of both. And some days one is more dominant than the other.

-bm

Thanks for your comment on my blog. I can't keep up w/ all the P-I blogs - there are so many good ones now! It's great! I love blogging here. :)

Posted by Merch at 4/19/07 2:38 p.m.

I remember my mother telling me that you would "just know" when you met the right person.

At the time I thought she was crazy.

I was convinced that I may not ever meet the "one" and was settling into that realization when my future wife walked into my life.

We met, actually we didn't meet I just saw her, at a staff meeting on my last day of a job. I commented to a friend, who was present, that I had to get a job in my future wife's division some way, some how, fully realizing that was a very slim possibility.

Several weeks later the director of my wife's division called and asked if I would like a temporary postition. Of course, I said yes and low-and-behold my would be wife was my supervisor.

One thing led to another and I realized my mother wasn't crazy.

That is not to say that everyday is perfect but on balance many more are than not. Why? Because we choose to be together and make our lives with each other. That is what love is, having the free will to choose to be with the "one" person because they are who you care about each and every day.

Posted by Lola Rogers at 4/19/07 3:12 p.m.

My parents were seniors in college when my Dad threw a snowball at my Mom, hitting her in the head.

Apparently, that's when she knew. They just celebrated their 40th anniversary!

~ Lola

Posted by unregistered user at 4/19/07 8:34 p.m.

I like the "you choose love, it chooses you" idea. except in my case it came along and konked me on the head. I sure am glad it did though, lumps and all.

I am also partial to the the bit about making something special every day of your life. Not always easy to do when you are thousands of miles away. Actually not that easy to do whereever you are--life, jobs, kids all conspire together to get in the way.

Maybe the best you can do is make an anonymous post and hope it gets read, late in the evening by someone you love.

Wan An!

Posted by Janna Cawrse at 4/20/07 8:02 a.m.

touche, unregistered user!

one question...did you mean to say, "I like the 'you DON'T choose love, it chooses you' idea?" I think that's what you meant.

And can you remind us what "Wan An!" means?

Hey, Merch--great story! sounds like fate was working hard there...

very happily,
janna

Posted by chels83 at 4/20/07 11:57 a.m.

I think this is a wonderful way to look at marriage. Once you're in it, you know it's a series of every day choices. Agreed as well that timing is different not only for every different couple, but each person with in the couple too. The important thing is you see the light (eventually) at the same time. Thanks Janna-always insighful!

Posted by rubyslippers at 4/27/07 2:47 p.m.

Um, can I just say that Mr. R is the cutest thing ever? And he's so right (no pun intended). As for my hubs and me, it was both: we knew within two weeks of meeting each other that we would marry AND after four years together we tied the knot because we built a relationship through the daily details. great post!

Posted by unregistered user at 8/4/07 12:26 a.m.

I don't knw if i met the one yet although i am still young and i college and i am desperately searching for someone that who truly be for me and i don't really have to worry about them but then again i try so much not to be like my dad and end up doing the same or at least close to it. I want a stable man whom I can trust, but then again that is just me. and I totally agree with wan an that love finds you sometimes and not all of the times you as a person find love.

Posted by unregistered user at 5/15/08 8:43 p.m.

I'm an atheist and general sceptic...
HOWEVER, I do believe theres a 'one' for everyone but I think other people could come close to it, and so people do have very happy lives with different people.
Like when peoples husbund/wife dies after many years of happy marriage and then that person re-marries. I think they could have loved both people equally and felt they both fitted the role as "the one" in their lives.

Although, I'm certain I've found my "one" and I couldn't bear to live without him. I think you know because you really can't fault them, yes everyone has flaws but when you think about your "one" their still perfection in your eyes. I don't know how you know, you really just do don't you...
My boy makes me feel like the luckiest girl in the world. I'm 19, hes 22, and we've been together 1 year 3 months. My mum thinks we're too serious, too young. I honestly don't wanna spend my life with anyone else, and I don't think age has anything to do with it. I'm just grateful we've met this young so we didn't have to go through so much heartache before finding eachother and of course it means a longer relationship :)
I can't wait to spend my life with him and make beautiful babies ^-^