I get a lot of parenting books, including a steady stream of momoirs, and I ignore most of them. But one hit my radar a few weeks ago that is worth checking out, "Accidentally on Purpose" by Mary Pols. Today, Mary offers a few thoughts on fatherhood from her unusual path to motherhood:

Paul has been kind enough to allow me to guest blog while I'm promoting my memoir. I guess you could call this post "In Praise of Mybabydaddy," although we can probably all agree that expression is getting awfully old.

I was a 39-year old movie critic when I got pregnant after a one-night stand with a sexy, sweet and unemployed 29-year-old. I thought I'd screwed up monumentally. Matt seemed nothing like the man I'd wanted to sail off into the sunset with. I spent much of my pregnancy and our infant's first few months lamenting my fate and assuming he would be a lousy father. That was foolish, because Matt had actually made it clear from the beginning that he had just as much capacity to love our child as I did. Here's a quick but very telling excerpt from the scene in the book where I break the news to him:

"...I think I'm going to have this baby. Your baby."

His expression still hadn't changed. Probably shock.

"So I'll do it on my own, and I'll take care of the baby on my own, but I did want to see what you thought and offer you the opportunity to be part of the baby's life, if that's what you want."

He slumped back in his chair.

"So, how do you feel about babies?" I asked him. I'd run out of things to say.

"Well," he said quietly. "Everyone wants a child."

No, I thought, no they don't. But how wonderful that you think that way. Your apartment is disgusting, you don't have a job, and you appear to have no obvious assets except for a beautiful smile. Yet, you apparently believe that everyone wants a child, from which I'm going to extrapolate that you want one.

Now technically Matt didn't want a child in those circumstances, or at that age or stage of his life. But he adapted. He also endured about two solid years of my critical eye before I finally learned to trust in him completely. I wrestled with our often frustrating relationship, but my priority was always nurturing the relationship between father and child. Matt and I didn't get married, we aren't "together" -- we live about 15 minutes away from each other -- but we have grown into great friends who love each other and share a common goal: Give our son the best co-parented childhood he can possibly have. Pure and simple, we're a family. Not a "normal" one, but a happy one.

If you're interested in learning more, check out www.maryfpols.com

-- Mary Pols, author of "Accidentally on Purpose."