In a flash of marketing genius, Details has a story about gay families running at the same time the California Supreme Court strikes down a ban on gay marriage.

"Using adoption or surrogacy, more homosexual men than ever before are becoming fathers. It's not a novelty - it's a movement. Look for it at a playground near you."
...
"More and more gay men seem to be having babies," says Charlotte J. Patterson, a University of Virginia psychologist who studies gay families."
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"And as with many trends, the increase in gay fathers has afforded its own terminology: the gayby boom."

---Details, May, 2008

Wait a minute, I thought Details was for all those 20-something dudes trying to figure out what scotch they're supposed to drink and how to wear an ascot as a joke?

In all seriousness, it is refreshing to see a men's magazine tackle parenting issues because it's fresh evidence that dads are playing a bigger role in childrearing. Details isn't trying to replace Cookie magazine, but it does want to publish stories men want to read.

"I do think dads have changed over the last 10 or 12 years...I do think it makes sense for Details to talk about parenting," said Meredith Goldblatt, a spokeswoman for the magazine, who stressed she was expressing her opinion not the magazine's. "I think it's a kind of natural evolution for the magazine to talk about it more."

The magazine, though, hasn't strayed too far. The May issue boasts the articles "Ashton Kutcher gets his #2*& kicked," "The office sex epidemic" and "How puck, Pedro and the miz changed TV forever."

I didn't see anything on breastfeeding.

Dads may want to stay out of the delivery room, a United Kingdom obstetrician suggests in Why men should NEVER be at the birth of their child.

These days dads are such an expected presence at births that those who stay outside can be targeted as bad fathers. But Dr. Michael Odent lays out a case that Dad can do more harm than good. While his premise may appear outrageous, the veteran obstetrician raises a series of interesting points.

Odent, for example, suggests there has been little scientific study on how fathers impact delivery. After three decades of delivering babies, though, Odent has more than a few ideas.

"I am more and more convinced that the participation of the father is one of the main reasons for long and difficult labours," Odent wrote in London's Daily Mail.

A dad's stress can complicate a delivery, and he can prevent Mom from entering a "primal state" conducive to delivery, Odent writes. (Whatever you think, and I've been in the operating room for the birth of both my kids and wouldn't have it any other way, the article is fascinating and well worth reading.)

Seattle-based obstetrician Dr. Robin Cole doesn't want to ban dads from deliveries, but she suggests her English counterpart highlights important concerns. Fathers-to-be do get anxious, and Cole suggests the best deliveries are when he is there but not actively involved.

"I would say it's wonderful to have the husband there," said Cole, who delivers babies at Swedish Medical Center. "They need to be a quiet observer rather than vocal participant."

Cole also recommends having a doula, a sister or another supportive woman in the birthing room. We also should give fathers a pep talk about their role before birth, Cole adds, because they can be an important though quiet player.

"Watching the dad at the time of delivery seeing their baby being born is something you can't imagine."

I learned about this piece thanks to a Polish-based daddy blogger, Lost Parent: An Interactive "Best Practices Parenting Blog, who is also a native Californian. Lost Parent doesn't necessarily agree with Odent, he just has a baby due in 130 days and wanted some feedback.

"I agree with him that there is a strong bias in society at present for the father to be at the birth (recent movies all seem to show the father at the birth rather than waiting outside the delivery room sweating it out). Much of what Dr. Odent says makes sense, but it doesn't seem so clear cut, especially when it comes to the psychological effects it has on the father. Both Dr. Odent and I would like to see some scientific studies done on it." -- Lost Parent.

Check out the rest of Andre's thoughtful post on dads in the delivery room. The blog looks interesting, and that means I'm making it our new featured blog.

A family heads to court today in another attempt to convince a legal body that vaccines caused autism, The Associated Press reports.

"Two 10-year-old boys from Portland, Ore., will serve as test cases to determine whether many of the children and their families should be compensated. Attorneys for the boys will attempt to show the boys were happy, healthy and developing normally - but, after being exposed to vaccines with thimerosal, they began to regress."
...

"To win, the attorneys for the two boys, William Mead and Jordan King, will have to show that it's more likely than not that the vaccine actually caused the injury.
Many members of the medical community are skeptical of the families' claims. They worry that the claims about the dangers of vaccines could cause some people to forgo vaccines that prevent illness."
-- Associated Press, May 12, 2008

The blogging discussion is already flowing here

This Mothers Day is arriving with a motherload of fresh research on the how our families are changing.

We have seen more older moms. In another twist, older moms are more likely to keep working after having children than younger moms, according to an analysis of federal data by former Bureau of Labor Statistics economist Charlotte Yee.

In 2004, 67 percent of moms age 30 to 44 were in the labor force after having their first child, compared with 56 percent of moms in the 20 to 24 age range, according to the analysis.

We also aren't seeing a trend of moms opting out of the workforce, a topic I wrote about today in The myth of the stay-at-home mom.

This week the Labor Department also offered us a snapshot of how married moms and dads spend their time.

- "In households with children under 18, married mothers who were employed full time were more likely to do household activities -- such as housework, cooking, or lawn care --on an average day than were fathers who were employed full time (89 versus 64 percent)."

"In households with children under 18 where both spouses were employed full time, mothers spent an average of 2.1 hours per day doing household activities, while fathers spent about 1.4 hours."

"On an average day, 71 percent of these mothers and 54 percent of these fathers spent time caring for and helping household children. Mothers spent more time providing this care than did fathers--1.2 hours per day versus 0.8 hour (49 minutes) per day." -- Labor Department report, Married Parents' Use of Time 2003-2006, 5/8/08.

There is a lot more family data to crunch, and we'll get to it next week. Now it's time for Sports Center and bed.

My sister blog, The Poop, is talking about push prizes, the gems and treasure you are supposed to buy your wife after she gives birth. Poop star Peter Hartlaub offers his last push prize, TiVo, and I applaud his bravery. But you knew he was going to get flamed.

But, I have to say, on one level TiVo makes more sense than a diamond bracelet or spa treatment.

I want to know who is buying these Push Prizes and who is taking a pass.

A key source for all those "dads doing more childrearing" stories may be drying up.

This year President Bush proposed eliminating the American Time Use Survey, according to supporters. Sound wonky and irrelevant? The survey is actually the Deep Throat source for reporters covering the changing American family. It tells us how much time moms and dads spending cleaning house and other jobs.

It "is an annual survey that provides the only available information on how Americans use their time. In the view of many social scientists, it is the most important new data initiative begun by the U.S. government in at least 35 years." -- Letter to congressional powerbrokers who oversees spending. (Read the whole letter here.)

The demise of the time report is far from certain. President Bush proposed cutting the program, but Congress controls the purse strings and will decide whether to fund the effort. It turns out the Labor Department program costs $6 million a year, though supporters are willing to settle for $4.3 million to keep it going.

A new study suggests breastfeeding may increase a baby's IQ, Reuters reports via MSNBC.com.

Mothers Day is right around the corner, though most moms are probably too busy to notice...

The Council on Contemporary Families reports:

"- 70 percent of working mothers with new babies are working the same hours they worked before the child's birth."

- "In 1963, 14 percent of working women who bore a child returned to work by the baby's first birthday. "

-"Today, 83 percent of working moms return to work by baby's first birthday, and 55 percent of first-time moms return to work by the time their child is 6 months old."

You can read more at CCF Mother's Day Fact Sheet on Day Care

I get a lot of children's music on this beat, and none has received the acclaim from Working Dad's reviewers, Working Son and Daughter, as Recess Monkey's Wonderstuff.

The pop-opera tells the story of Everett the Wonderbee's battle against the gray. It's a tale of bravery, humor and green-thinking that is just vague enough to appeal to a 5-year-old's sensibilities.

Working kids clamor for the music, and I've heard from enough parents to know it's a hit with a lot of families. While the songs are for kids, Recess Monkey offers a nice pop sensibility many moms and dads will like, and others won't find annoying. "Backpack" is arguably the best song on the album, but there are plenty of hits.

If you're buying a copy on iTunes, you might want to pick up a copy of "The Johnny Cash Children's Album." I think it's one of the best vintage albums for kids. Any other nominees?

Our regular hurl reviewer, Tegan Tigani, is on vacation overseas. She will return in mid-May. Until then you are stuck with me.

We took a look at the stress on parents raising autistic children today in Autism's Hidden Victims, but there wasn't space to detail the startling and mounting stress on schools, therapists and medical providers.

Twelve years ago, for example, Washington public schools had 253 autistic students ages 3 to 21; last December schools counted 6,025, a 2,281 percent increase, according to data from the state Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction.

The rising tide of families searching for services is creating obvious strains around Seattle and the nation.

At one point popular Kirkland–based Northwest Behavioral Associates had 145 families on its waiting list, yet it took only 26 new clients in the previous year.

"I don't know how they (universities and training agencies) would keep up with the demand," said Stacey Shook, the firm's executive director.

Families told me they spent $17,000 to $55,000 a year on intense behavioral therapy. Most middle-class families can't pay those bills, and even if they could, they might not find much help. In one week, the mother featured in today's story, Lillie Addams, called 14 therapists trained in behavioral therapy, and not one called back.

(While few companies offer health care plans that cover behavioral treatment, homegrown Microsoft Corp. is one of those concerns.)

There are encouraging signs of growing federal and state support. In December 2006, Congress and President Bush approved $101 million for autism research at the National Institutes of Health, up from $56 million six years earlier.

But, parents say the fresh funding is nowhere near enough.

"I think that (I) would not be surprised if most families feel like the progress is woefully inadequate and painfully slow," said Dr. Bryan King at Seattle Children's Hospital and Medical Center. "The clock is ticking on each of their own children in terms of getting in there and doing something about it."

Whatever happened to the opt-out generation of moms? A few years ago, moms were supposedly dropping out, turned off by the rat race, to raise their children, at least according to some media reports.

A quick glance at employment data shows moms did not drop out. The population of working moms with young kids has been stable in recent years - their labor force participation rate hovered around 76 percent in 2006 and 2007, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. The level is near the record high of 77 percent set in 2000, according to The New York Times.

Author and feminist Amy Richards certainly doesn't believe there is an opt-out revolution. In fact, she wrote "Opting In: Having a Child Without Losing Yourself."

"Consistently, what the data says is that women are not opting out," Richards told me this afternoon.

Instead, women take 2.2 years off for childrearing Richards says, which makes the terms off ramping and on ramping more appropriate.

I am writing about how moms opt into the workforce next week. That means I want to hear from moms about how they are handling the work-family balance. Post a comment or send me an email, and remember to include your contact details if you want to be in the story.

The typical child care worker earns $18,820 a year, a new report says.

Despite all the work and money flying around early education, the most important folks in the field, teachers, make less than baggage porters, locker room attendants, stock clerks, service station attendants, maintenance workers, data entry "keyers" and telemarketers, the Bureau of Labor Statistics found.

And they make a little more than a maid.

Making matters worse, child care workers who have a little college received a whopping 39-cent raise over the last 35 years, according to the American Federation of Teachers.

The teachers union released these findings Thursday as part of its national event, Stagnant Child Care Worker Wages Hurt Children.

Now the federation is a union with a motivation to organize workers. But, any parent who has dealt with the child care system knows these numbers are in the ballpark.

If you want to ask the authors of "Grand Theft Childhood" a few questions, they will be hosting a chat on Toronto's Globe and Mail Web site tomorrow.

You can submit questions in advance here.

CDC: 3 out of 4 new moms in US now breast-feed their infants

More than 3 out of 4 new moms now breast-feed their infants, the highest rate in the U.S. in at least 20 years, according to a a government report released Wednesday.
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"It looks like it is an all-time high" based on CDC surveys since the mid-1980s, said Jeff Lancashire, a CDC spokesman. -- Associated Press, 4/30/08

It certainly matches what I see in the neighborhood.

What would be a better Mother's Day gift than a little libido?

Balancing a sex life and raising a family appears to be an eternal question, and Seattle's upscale sex shop Babeland will help moms get their sexy back and find the big O at a free Sunday evening session, "Sexy Mamas: Mom's Night Out."

Before you turn off because it's a sex store, with an understated and warm decor Babeland could be a shoe boutique, if it wasn't for the vibrators and lube displays. The 15-year-old Babeland is owned by women and staffed exclusively by sexuality educators

These women take sex seriously, helping couples reignite or keep the fire going, with good ideas on finding time for intimate encounters

Mom's Night Out is also for those moms who realize "I might not get that card I want," says Babeland's Shannon Carnes. "I am going to pamper myself."

To pamper mom, Babeland will offer mini-facials and mini-massages, cupcakes and sex ed, with a freewheeling panel discussion about "sex, sanity and sleep - you can have it all."

My editors and I have been tossing around ideas for a Mother's Day story - mom rights, pay inequality, opting-in moms - but this sounds like a lot more fun to write. If you're planning to check out Sexy Mamas or have any thoughts on sex and Mom's Day, drop me an e-mail or post your thoughts, though get me your contact info if you are willing to be interviewed.

You can get all the details on Sunday's event here. The link may not be appropriate to view at work - our filter blocked it. Here are the important things to know:

Sexy Mamas: Mom's Night Out
7:30 p.m. Sunday, May 4t FREE!
707 E. Pike St., (Capitol Hill) Seattle.
206-328-2914 to reserve a spot