Posted by Euterpe35 at 1/29/08 7:21 a.m.

RIP, Ben

Posted by Roosevelt at 1/29/08 11:31 a.m.

Sad to hear...Gruntruck was one of my first shows after turning 21, at the Off-Ramp, Oct 1993. Great show!

Posted by unregistered user at 1/29/08 11:55 a.m.

This just sucks. He was too young to have this happen to him. He will be missed. My condolences to everyone who knew him.

Posted by unregistered user at 1/29/08 1:04 p.m.

Capitol hill with an "O".

sorry

Posted by steve Itano at 1/29/08 1:22 p.m.

There was a lot more to Ben than just being a rocker. He was truly a Seattle/Northwest character. I believe he was from Poulsbo, yeah, Poulsbo. I 1st met Ben when a loose group of people connected too the underground art & music scene came together to form a cheap artist housing collective, I think it was in 84…. the Subterranean Kollective of Urban Dreamer (SKUD) affectionately known later as the Jell-O-mode building just north of the market. When we 1st moved into the building, it was a complete wreak. Abandoned for years, the roof leaked, nearly all of the windows were missing, plumbing rusted and not working. Ben threw down with everyone helping tear out walls, fixing plumbing & electrical, cleaning even though his space was probably the only reasonably together spaces in the building. After we somewhat settled in. Ben slacked off, he stopped doing collective chores, didn't come to meetings and was consistently late with his rent. So while discussing whether to throw his butt out, given he wasn't there for the meeting, we voted him to be the President… He was shocked, he thought we were going to throw him out, not make him responsible for our survival. Ben stepped up, he became one of the best leaders we ever had. He took to it heart, banging on peoples door to pay their rent or do their chores, helped us survive and grow for the next 2 years. He also had a slot at KCMU the legendary UW music station. He had a great speaking voice, played local music & was a fixture at the many local clubs, house/loft parties, if there was beer, you could find Ben etc. Ben was a fun guy. There was another side to him, He was hard working, into a lot of things. He didn't just hang out and drink….He was an air-brush artist, he incorporated a lot of his work into hand-painted tee-shirts that he sold in the Market. His designs were original and contemporary edgy with a kind of punk quality. I remember him with a stack of tee-shirts on a artist easel, air brush in hand, long curly mangled hair, wearing gas mask, cigarette hanging from his mouth, holding a beer (there was always a beer somewhere close) laughing and joking about how he had to drink to off-set the effects of the toxic paint fumes. But every morning he would drag his stuff down to the Market and get a spot, set up and sell his shirts. In a eclectic way he was very hard working, dependable and straight forward. Then came Skin Yard…. Mike Giacondino ( I remember after I moved from Seattle, people kept talking about this guy Jack Endino, I kept going, you mean Mike? The guy with 2 last names???) Daniel House, Matt Cameron and Ben. Ben was also a poet/writer, people forget that about him. I remember when we got a 1972 white on white 2 door Cadilac donated to the building, we decided to get stoned and paint it one Easter Sunday…. The skudmoblie, Ben added to the side, "Too Much Acid, Too Little To Do"… Those are the things I'll remember…… As far as I was concerned, Ben was always a interesting, intelligent, creative stand up guy. Peace Ben.... Steve

Posted by unregistered user at 1/29/08 2:28 p.m.

Thanks for the post Steve.

I only knew him through his music. Influential in many ways, lyrically inspiring.
A true individual it seemed.

Posted by unregistered user at 1/29/08 9:22 p.m.

I first met Ben when I was buying his old wrecked Porsche for parts. I only had half the money and told him he would get the rest in a couple weeks, and he could hold the title until I paid him. He agreed. The next day I got an unexpected check, so I went down to the Hurricane to get something to eat & gave him a call.
He was down on first avenue & said he would be there shortly. Five minutes later he was breathing heavily behind me saying, "Man, I just ran all the way up here!"
I gave him the money, he gave me the title, & he said, "Man, you must have some good karma!" I smiled & said, "yup!"
We had talked about his band when we first met, and he invited me to his Pain in the Grass gig. When I showed up, he got me backstage & introduced me to his mom & dad.
That was pretty fu**in' cool!
I tried to go to a benefit for him a few years ago...but my ex was promoting it & had me kicked out. Oh well...RIP, my brother.

Posted by unregistered user at 1/30/08 11:07 a.m.

I was so sorry to hear of Ben's passing. So full of life, and I appreciate Steve Itano's lengthy tribute! I remember fondly SKUD, all its members were crucial participants in all venues of art in Seattle it seemed, complete with a cool cafe in the building to boot! Ben's spot in that building was posh! Ben had a great singing voice, it was like a TV announcer's meets a genuine rocker. Ben's artistic side showed his depth, and he always was so human with the biggest heart. I actually tried out to sing for Skin Yard, and a couple of days later, Ben got the job (thankfully!!) When I recently visited the Olympic Sculpture Park, I looked over, and thought 'where is SKUD' although I remembered it being demolished a couple of years ago. I thought about Ben, his tshirts, his voice, and Steve, and all of the people of SKUD, how modern life just bulldozes things away, and we're still here, and it's just a story I tell my kids. I have pictures, posters ripped off telephone poles, lots of records and memories.....Ben was so actual. He lived what he wanted to do, if he wanted to sing in a band, there he was, and surrounded by nice fellows all around there was a lot of love. As I write I miss him and want to crank up the music really loud. One of my favorite songs that Ben did with Skin Yard was on a Pyrrhic Victory cassette, it was about the Rajaneeshis. I felt that song fit Ben. I looked up at the sky the other day, and was crying for Ben, whom I haven't seen since the last time I saw Gruntruck (like a long time ) and the clouds were moving, and blue sky was there, and I just felt as my husband says, he is no longer in pain. Sounds like he had his share of it with the diabetes. Skin Yard changed my life for the better, and Ben was definitely a seminal part of that quirky chemical mix. Kate Yamamoto

Posted by unregistered user at 1/30/08 8:12 p.m.

Terribly sad news. I saw Gruntruck a few times but the one that stands out was a show at the Crocodile Cafe (another recent loss) around '95. It was one of the most intense shows I've seen to this day. The band completely rocked and deserved more attention. I'm glad to have the music and memories. Thanks, Ben. RIP.

Posted by unregistered user at 1/31/08 11:34 a.m.

I met Ben in 1982, he was living in an apartment on the eastern edge of fraternity row, in the University district. He was already hosting a show at KCMU at the time, and we were trying to create music - me on his electric piano, him on guitar and vocals. A few years later he did finally get seriously involved with playing music with Skin Yard. We saw one of their first gigs at a party, and we all were blown away. Through the years I did visit him at the scud, had some of his t-shirts, and partied with him. As time went on, I would only see him during a show. I ran into Ben a couple of years ago, when I found out about the health problems that he had developed due to his alcoholism and drug abuse, and the hard times that he had with with dialysis and diabetes. Even with all of the pain that he had to endure, he was still the sweet and sensitive person that I always knew him as. I will miss him. Allen Tompkins

Posted by unregistered user at 1/31/08 12:05 p.m.

I knew Ben while we were both in High School-- yes in Poulsbo, long before he turned his immense talents towards performing music. He was someone to know back then -- a magnet for fun, art, good conversation and parties. He had worked hard to hone is drawing, writing and musical talents and it showed in all things he did even and a teenager.
I remember riding the bus up 1st Ave sometime (1981?) a couple years after Ben and I had lost touch. I looked out the window and saw several huge portraits done in a style very distinctive to Ben and was so pleased. I bumped into him shortly after and he was so happy I had recognized his work. RIP Ben and sorry I was to ticklish and squirmy to accept the foot massage you tried to give me late that night so long ago.

Posted by unregistered user at 1/31/08 6:53 p.m.

I so miss Ben...I had lost touch with him in the past few years and have been thinking about him a lot over the past few months, trying to figure out how best to get in contact with him. I think I felt like he might be doing bigger battle with his health again...weird how that works...
I lived a 66 Bell, 1/2 a block from SKUD, so we were neighbors and I recall well that corner of wonderland inside SKUD that was his space. I worked with and was good friends with Kathy (also a SKUD member, much more than a once-girlfriend, she really was his best friend), so I saw a lot of him over the years. I even worked with/for him sometimes selling those damn shirts! :) And ahh...hanging out at the old Frontier Room with one of Nina's drinks...
Thanks, Steve Itano, for such a great tribute...I can't top that. It so made me warm and fuzzy to read it. One thing though, that a lot of people don't often realize is that Ben went through bouts of fanatic health-mode: no Crown Royal in his coffee in the Market (o god, I almost forgot about that!), mega health-food binges, even stopped smoking now and then for varied lengths of time. He had a real gusto for life...and sometimes that meant lapsing back into the vices that life offers, only to later swing back again the other way to even things out.
I miss Ben...I'm so-o upset I didn't get to say 'Hi' one last time...but I'm glad he's outta pain and, as he wrote on his MySpace: "I go because, well, I'm wanted... I'll be fine. I go to my friends and those I've never met."
Blessings...Dyanne

Posted by unregistered user at 2/1/08 10:29 a.m.

Dear friends of Ben,

This is Ben McMillan's fiance of 8 years writing to you here. If you wouldn't mind posting a little something about Ben on his personal site; an experience, encounter,or you'd just like to say good-bye, please feel free to do so, as it would be a great comfort to the family, and to those who truly loved him and knew him best.

Also, contrary to what is often said, Ben's health issues were no fault of addiction, but rather due to a rare disorder called thromobophilia- which in turn, led to severe diabetes, and a plethura of other problems.

I would like all of you who are still judging him, to know that it upset him greatly, while he was struggling to survive these past 8 years or so, that people he loved and knew had such thoughts. So please be kind...we are still grieving.

www.myspace.com/benmcmillanmusic

Posted by unregistered user at 2/4/08 5:20 p.m.

I'm so blessed to have met Ben McMillan through his fiance & soulmate (my niece)!!! He was an amazing man!!! Alot of people don't know how hard it was for him to journey through the last years of his life here; and never with complaint.
I for one don't believe Ben got the recognition deserved for all his talents. Beyond his music & painting I saw such a giving spirit. He had a special knack for picking out just the right gifts for his step children & mate!!!
I will always hold dear in my heart the last time I met with him; that last hug; his sweet soft voice; and most of all; those beautiful eyes that could look into your soul. Until we meet again Ben.........

Posted by unregistered user at 2/4/08 10:21 p.m.

Well, this ole coot just created a myspace profile in hopes of being able to post a comment on his site. No such luck - so I'll do it here. I knew Ben thru his sister way back when she and I were tapping our guts out in shows and classes all over town. 1980, give or take. So I knew Ben as a very young man - honest, the first I knew that he was a musician (beyond having a garage band, which I think I knew) was when I saw the film "Hype!" last year. So I've been catching up slowly with his journey. Then this news. Ben, you were always one of my favorite things about this city - you were the Market and Capitol Hill and a thrashed out jacket and a huge smile... I've been missing you for years, so I know how it's done. Love to all the McMillans and everyone Ben touched. -Brad Watson

Posted by unregistered user at 2/7/08 4:51 p.m.

R.I.P.

Posted by unregistered user at 2/11/08 10:11 a.m.

I was so saddened to hear the news. The NW was so fortunate to enjoy his talent, and great music - and for his friends and family to have such a great person in their lives. I have nothing but fond memories of great shows, great music and great times! Ben - I'm grateful our paths crossed, you are free of your body now and can fly as high as you desire - without limits.
--Cathy Faulkner

Posted by unregistered user at 2/22/08 6:26 p.m.

Just heard about this unfortunate news. I met Ben back in '96. I was in a band called Whyte Out. We were one of his favorite bands as Gruntruck was one of ours. We played a few shows together one in particular The Show Box. I remember after our set he asked me how in the world are we (Gruntruck) going to follow that performance? LOL. Ben,Tommy,Tim and Scott are all great guys. Whyte Out will be reforming sometime this year...just wished we could've played w/ Ben and Gruntruck again. RIP, BEN you will be missed....

~Thom

Posted by unregistered user at 2/24/08 6:29 p.m.

rip

hey THOM from WHYTE OUT,
there was a black dude in your band
and he had a little brother that was coming up
as a rapper back in the mid-late 90s.
what was that kid's name?

Posted by unregistered user at 2/26/08 11:41 a.m.

I WAS VERY SADDENED AND SHOCKED TO HAVE FOUND OUT ABOUT BEN'S PASSING. THE FIRST TIME I MET BEN WAS IN NEW YORK IN TRHE LATE 80'S WHEN HE PLAYED W/ SKINYARD AND WHEN THE SHOW WAS OVER, AND WE PARTED WAYS, I SAID TO HIM "I WOULD LOOK HIM UP IF I EVER MADE IT TO SEATTLE". WELL I MADE IT TO SEATTLE IN 92 AND I WAS LIVING AT NAF STUDIOS AND I WENT DOWN TO THE OFFRAMP AND WHEN WE SAW EACHOTHER 'I'LL NEVER FORGET THE LOOK AND SMILE ON HIS FACE, HIS SMILE WAS AND, IS GOLDEN!!! I STAYED IN SEATTLE FOR 9 YRS AND WHEN EVER I SEEN BEN IT WAS COOL.
"RIP" BROTHER!!!!

Posted by unregistered user at 3/1/08 2:59 a.m.

My husband came across this today, and I am very saddened to hear the news. I had no idea he was going through that... I'm glad he's out of pain, but I'm so sorry about your loss...

I used to go to this bar (1st or 2nd Ave-don't know why I can't remember the name!!) with my boyfriend and play pool with Ben. He always cracked me up. One time we were at the jukebox trying to pick songs, and I found PJ Harvey. At the same time we both said, "The Dancer!" and that song has always reminded me of him. He told me I had great eyes and wanted to paint them, but we never arranged it. HE was the one with the amazing eyes! And such a warm, inviting smile! Just a great guy... The last time I saw him sitting at the bar isn't how I want to remember him, though-he just wrecked his car and just wasn't in a good way... I moved away from Seattle shortly thereafter.
I will always remember Ben as a witty, fun person who's talent was SOOO underrated. RIP, Ben...

Posted by unregistered user at 3/8/08 4:20 p.m.

To all who will be attending the Memorial Concert being held in Ben's Honor tonight; Please! While you celebrate his Life; don't forget to try to hold up Amanda; The Love of his Life!!! Ben would be the first to tell you that it was She that took such good care of and kept him going through his most difficult years. I know how her heart aches for him & how difficult it is for her now. Doing so would be a great Honor to Ben!!!
Thank You all

Posted by unregistered user at 3/10/08 3:00 p.m.

I was so sad to hear that Ben died. I haven't seen him in more than 20 years and wonder if he would even remember the brief time that we hung out, although he made a real impression on me. I met him at a stall in the market, just passing by. I was 15 or 16, and the fact that he lived in this cool place, was an artist and musician, and had this deep, interesting voice so unlike the guys in high school, made him mythic to me. My friend worked at the Cyclops and I spent many hours there and at Ben's place that summer, writing in my journal and watching him work. He was always kind, sensitive, poetic, with a great sense of humor. I'll remember him fondly. RIP, Ben.

Posted by unregistered user at 3/27/08 4:01 p.m.

Memorable Gruntruck moment.........
As we walked through the parking lot on the way to a Gruntruck/Circus of Power show at Flash's in Cleveland, OH way back in the early 90's, we spotted the Gruntruck tour bus across the way. We would not have even noticed it except for all the commotion that was apparently happening on the inside. Screaming, whooping, hollering, and The Beastie Boys playing at a volume of 11! Suddenly the bus began to rock back and forth on its suspension.......so much so that it looked like it might actually tip over on its side. When Gruntruck took the stage that night, it was quite obvious that they had had too much fun before the show. Ben and Tom had marker all over their faces and all members of the band were having musical difficulties that evening. Had I not seen smoking performances by Gruntruck several times before when they opened for AIC I might have been upset for having paid for such a display.......but it was actually quite amusing, memorable, and very rock'n'roll. My friends and I have never forgotten that show.

I sincerely hope Ben is having that much fun at The Great Gig in The Sky.

RIP in peace brotha Ben.
You will be missed.

Posted by unregistered user at 7/1/08 6:56 p.m.

Dyanne's post from January and the bit about the Frontier Room really brought back a fond memory. I moved to L.A. in late '99 and haven't kept in contact with anyone from Seattle since then (with the exception of a 2002 chance encounter in a West Hollywood McDonalds with ex-Local 808 manager Paul Wieser). So, I'm actually just now (within the last 10 minutes)finding out that Ben died! I was watching some Gruntruck on YouTube and noticed a few RIP comments and wondered what they meant. I honestly thought they were meant for the "grunge-era"! I chatted Ben up one evening (can't recall the year, though) at the Frontier Room before I left Seattle and we shared some beers and some thoughts on music and on life in general. This was before Gruntruck split up. He definitely came on as a totally sincere man who, obviously, has caused a great number of people nationwide to rock-out with intensity! RIP indeed.