Years ago, my first cat was a 64 kB and his name was Commodore. He could do a few tricks and I thought he was fast and sleek. I was very proud. Later we added a 128 to the family and he purred even faster. How naive I was back then, thinking those early cats could do anything.

More and more friends got personal cats and upgraded them. I starting taking in their no-brand castoffs, the unwanted cats without any fancy do-dads or hardware. Just basic beige (somewhat clunky) cats who needed homes.

I had no formal cat training. No matter how many times I read the instruction manuals, I never figured out how to use the full capacity of the cats. I wasn't what you could call very cat-savvy.

Suddenly every office manager raced out to buy cats. It was said we lived in a paperless society and we couldn't live without cats in every office ... in every house. Cats got improved. Sound came along. Man, those cats could sing!

The cats got so fast, they must have been running on a treadmill. Rumors started that personal cats (PCs) represented Big Brother and they might take over the world someday.

Some nice person with a sense of humor decided every desktop cat needed a mouse. Not a half bad idea, was it? As time went on, it got so people required smaller cats to carry around with them and so laptop cats gained popularity.

Next came green cats, low-energy cats, flat-screen cats. Wow, so much has happened since the days of my simple Commodore.

You're on the phone with a neighbor discussing your kids' latest toys. Suddenly she begs off, announcing, "Better go. Time to feed the babies. We're still doing nights, but soon they'll sleep through."

You've been there. You may not be preparing and washing up bottles now, but you understand parenthood involves responsibility. Huge responsibility. Yesterday you called the doctor for an appointment because of a sore throat. This morning it was a tumble down a couple of steps.

As you're getting your kids' healthy snacks out of the cupboard, another friend stops by to chat about her kids' special dietary needs. "True, they're eating us out of house and home. Let's not dwell on the expense, only that we're rewarded with love!" she tells you.

You laugh, knowing she's a great mom.

All of these kids have fur. They're kitties. Remember, the emotions are the same ... no matter if you're raising human children or fur children.

Q: Did you ever bottle-feed orphaned kittens?

One day on the way to a friend's house, my husband Alf and I made a quick stop at a dumpster to toss in a bag. As soon as I was out in the open, I heard the sound of a bird overhead. It squawked a few times.

Alf asked me about the unusual noise, because he was certain it was coming from our trunk. I explained it was a low-flying bird, nothing to worry about. He was so convinced something was locked in our trunk, he hopped out of the car to check.

Empty!

Alf's gaze scanned the sky for signs of the peculiar bird. He saw clouds, a hint of sun, but no birds. At that point he was reluctant to get back into the car. He told me he needed to solve the mystery. On a whim, he lifted the hood.

A tiny fuzzy kitten was perched on our car battery, her eyes revealing her terror. Her multiple meows were loud and clear. I grabbed the tiny tabby and wrapped her in my jacket.

On the way to the friend's house, we decided her name was Fuzzy. She purred for a few minutes, then fell asleep in my arms. No question she was invited to join our household!

She was neutered at about seven months (our estimate of her age). Now she's a full-grown kitty, three years old. She remains petite, kittenlike. She still prefer to communicate in full sentences rather than single meows.

Q: Does your cat have something important to tell you?

I'm a sucker for cat whiskers. You can tell a lot about what's on a cat's mind by watching the movement of those whiskers. Do they bristle? They fly up and down when a cat chews and whiskers get a super work-out when a cat yawns.

Photo by Alf B. Meier. Used by permission.

Whiskers are a work of art. At night, kitty whiskers on my pillow tickle me. Buddy and Yanni love to sleep in my hair. To me, being brushed with cat whiskers reminds me of a butterfly landing on me. It's that delicate.

Whiskers are a decorative addition to any kitty's face (placed not only near the mouth, but also above the eyes), very photogenic. Whiskers are sensitive enough to help a cat scamper through nine lives. They show the feline which way the breeze or wind is blowing, what obstacles are in the way.

Whiskers let a cat know if he can fit somewhere and we all know how cats like to play hide-and-seek

Q: Where does your cat hide?

How much do you know about Cat Songs? Take a quiz.

I scored 18 out of 24. How'd you do?

Hey, I wonder if Sheena Easton ever took this test. The pop diva is a big cat person. Want to learn more about songs about cats?

Maybe you'd rather have a video. Here's Mark Gunn (Bard) singing his Irish drinking song Wild Kitty.

Applause, applause!

Isn't he great? I just friended him at MySpace.

Speaking of cats and imbibing, Susan Reinhardt had an ex-frat house cat who loved cheap wine. Sambo lived for 18 years. You can read about him in her book Dishing With the Kitchen Virgin.

Q: Although he shouldn't, does your cat drink anything besides water?

Some of our cats excel at tree climbing - almond trees being the favorite. A few kitties imagine loftier goals. Our M loves ladders, no matter if inside or outside. M ignores our kitchen stepladder. No challenge! That's okay, since Wimpy and Tipsy love to snooze on the stepladder.

We try to keep our cats from climbing up the bookcases, but Buddy is a regular bookwalker. Occasionally Yanni will join him, but only for short spurts. Yanni prefers the great outdoors, though he'd rather stretch out on the picnic bench than be a tree climber.

Plato, Half M and Copper can usually be found balancing atop high stone walls. Roo is another fan of old stone walls - but not ours, only the neighbors' walls. Roo doesn't mind napping on the roof of our car either. She's always alone. No other kitty has interest in joining her there.

Occasionally fearless cats set their sights even higher. Not many hang out on the roof of our house, but when we hear the tappity-tap-tap of kitty claws we know it's Tigerella up there.

Q: Are cats social climbers?

Once you go over the dozen mark, it's no longer an easy matter to find a qualified (or even unqualified) catsitter. What if you've surpassed two dozen kitties? The thing is, my husband and I need a week away. Someone must care for the kitties, all 28 of them.

Here's my newspaper ad. Tell me what you think.

Petsitter wanted
A special person is needed for a week to live in a house resembling a zoo. You must be prepared to have at least five cats in your lap at all times. Sleep? Forget it! The bed is shared with a dozen lumpy cats. You'll have to fight for a corner of the pillow.

These 28 cats shed, claw, sneeze and drool their way through life. This means a wee bit of extra housework. Another thing: The kitty dishes never end. The sink is always full. The water bowls are always empty, so they need checking hourly.

Feline entertainment is a critical area. As far as petting heads or scratching behind ears, if you divvy up your time to 15 minutes per day per cat, you can cover all 28 in just seven hours. (Keep a list.) Aren't you glad there are 24 hours in a day? That should leave you plenty of time for clean-ups and filling those water bowls. Plus walking the dogs. We did mention the three pooches, right?

You'll need another couple of hours every day to toss around balls and rubber mousies. Playtime is important. We don't want the cats and dogs parked in front of the tv all day. They need exercise! Grooming? Expect another couple of hours daily for brushing and flea-checking

Applicants should be warned there's no way to sit down at a table for a normal meal when there are so many cats milling about (Dogs may beg, but they don't jump in your plate.) We recommend you eat standing up and as quickly as possible. Forget reading. The cats will perch on your book. Forget watching tv as well. Cat tails will only be in the way.

My help wanted ad ran for days. Oddly, not a soul answered! What do you think was the problem?

Q: Are you trapped at home by your cats?

Our cats are p(r)awns in our hands when there's a can of tuna to be awarded. Whatever I tell them, they'll do. "Get off the counter." "Stay." "Sit." Okay, maybe not sit.

No doubt about it, our cats are huge fish lovers. In the world of cats, fish is a standard fare on the menu. Meet Hodge.

Does the name Dr. Samuel Johnson ring a bell? It was in his London house he created the first English dictionary. Built in 1700, the house (at 17 Gough Square) still stands. The dwelling attracts visitors from around the world. One reason has got to be Hodge - Johnson's favorite kitty.

Hodge ruled the roost (as kitties like to do). He was allowed to perch on Johnson's lap whenever he pleased to get petted. As Johnson toiled on the mammoth writing project, the black feline kept him company. The beloved black cat dined on oysters - in those days quite plentiful and inexpensive.

A museum now stands at 17 Gough Square and visitors like to leave a fish or mouse in memory of Hodge. For luck, people also drop coins in the sculpted oyster shell at the base of the statue of Hodge.

Though not necessarily for oysters, some cats go fishing. They do it by tapping a paw gently, imitating an insect landing on the water. If you want to watch some cats in action, visit the the Smithsonian National Zoological Park.

Looks like work. Out cats couldn't be bothered. They just wait for me to open the can.

Q: Do you ever invite your cats on fishing trips?

Cats have a way of bringing out the playfulness in people. For me it started about nine years ago, when I created a little song for each of our cats. Each kitty in our household gets a personalized jingle-like song not long after getting a name.

Silly or not, these songs are close to their hearts since the cats get serenaded daily. Here are some examples:

Copper Kitty, Copper Kitty
My name is Copper Kitty. Who are you?

Calico, calico, calico cat
calico this and calico that ...

Wishbone, Wishbone
Make me a wish, catch me a fish
Give me a kiss ...

Okay, so I didn't promise you these lyrics would make a lot of sense. The cats don't mind! I'm not much of a singer either, but cats don't complain about my lack of talent.

When they hear their personal songs (most of which are sung to melodies from Broadway shows), they come running across the room to sit in my lap. All are single verses, but if I forget the words I just make up new ones as I go.

Different cats react to music in different ways. Some lick my hands. Others knead on my blouse or sweater. Most purr, so I guess my voice can't be that terrible. I'm pretty shy about the inadequacy of my singing voice, though I love to sing. Felines are an appreciative audience.

That is to say, I've never had one walk out on my performance. Dogs aren't so kind. They tend to howl in protest.

Kitties no longer with us still have their songs. It's a tribute to their memories to say/sing their names every day.

For me, it would be far more entertaining if a few of our cats would join in with some meows of their own, but so far this hasn't happened. I'm still performing solo. I'd be more than willing to share the stage.

Q: Do you sing to your cats?

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If you're new to this blog, you may enjoy these earlier postings:

Cat Prez

Fashion critic cat

Cat secret

Living with ghosts

Each of our cats is a unique creation - a combination of personality and purr, intelligence and inquisitiveness. Each cat has her own opinion and temperament, her own body language and voice.

No time in your life to get out the paints and easel so you can create your kitty's portrait? If you'd like to see cats as art, visit Cat Ladies Have Time for Tea.

Q: Is your cat a work of art?