Worst writing of 2005

The winners (?) of this year's Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest for worst-written English-language sentence are out.

The grand prize goes to Dan McKay of Fargo, N.D. His (fortunately) peerless prose:

As he stared at her ample bosom, he daydreamed of the dual Stromberg carburetors in his vintage Triumph Spitfire, highly functional yet pleasingly formed, perched prominently on top of the intake manifold, aching for experienced hands, the small knurled caps of the oil dampeners begging to be inspected and adjusted as described in chapter seven of the shop manual.

If you're really in the mood for more bad prose, the contest site lists 45 other winners, runners-up and dishonorable mentions in a variety of categories.