Who's special now?

Bad parenting is the problem and "American Idol" judge Simon Cowell is the cure. That's the basic message of a thought-provoking piece Alexandra Wolfe wrote for the New York Observer (and reprinted at SFGate.com) lamenting what she dubs the Too Much Positive Reinforcement syndrome. It's the "the belief, against all available evidence, that one is meant for special things" and Hayne says it has reached "epidemic proportions" in this country:

After decades of upper-middle-class parenting designed to shield Junior from all possible failure, and from any honest judgment of his talents, it's no wonder we need television shows like "American Idol" and its fellow showcase for TMPR victims, "The Apprentice." These shows are delivering the spanking -- sorry, the time-out -- that our culture of bloated self- evaluation is subconsciously craving. Their success signals that we may be reaching the end of a long national delusion. There is simply not room enough at the top these days for everyone raised to believe they belong there -- and, deep down, we all know it.

Wolfe has tongue at least somewhat in cheek, but this is a real topic of discussion in parenting circles. For example, the March 2004 issue of Parenting magazine has a feature story headlined "Too much self-esteem? When praise can backfire -- and how to raise kids with a healthy sense of themselves." As author Christina Frank sums it up:

... due to a mix of permissive parenting, school agendas, and pop psychology, the "love thyself" message has taken over to the point where it's begun to backfire. Today's kids are often impossibly self-absorbed, yet fragile. By smothering them with positive messages about themselves, we may have kept them from developing some basic and important emotional survival tools."

(Thanks to Tracy for the original tip.)