After writing about Sex and the American Dad last week I thought I should dig up a slightly older survey that suggested 34 percent of mothers have cheated since they had kids.

The percentage of moms and dads who stray is nearly identical - 32 percent of dads said they had an affair in last week's survey. Mothers and fathers also think about cheating in similar numbers, with 53 percent of moms admitting they thought about it and 54 percent of dads saying they did, the Cookie/AOL Health surveys found.

Sex often isn't at the top of mom's worry list, with 60 percent saying sex is last on their list of tensions, according to the poll published on May 1 by Cookie and AOL Body. But 77 percent of surveyed moms want to have sex more frequently, Cookie found.

"The somewhat startling statistics invite a closer look at the state of sex and the American marriage," Cookie editor-in-chief Pilar Guzman said in a statement back in May.

Moms fantasize about a range of men. George Clooney, Tom Brady and believe it or not Barack Obama are at the top of the list.

The online survey covered a smaller pool than the dad survey: 30,000 moms.

The battle over whether vaccinations play a role in autism raged this week, with celebrity moms Jenny McCarthy and Amanda Peet trading fire.

McCarthy blasted Peet because the actress suggested parents who don't vaccinate their kids are misguided in an interview with Cookie magazine.

"Frankly, I feel that parents who don't vaccinate their children are parasites." -- August, Cookie magazine.

McCarthy, whose son was diagnosed on the autism spectrum, was less than pleased.

"(Peet) has a lot of balls to come forward and be on that side, because there is an angry mob on my side, and I like the fact that I can say she's completely wrong,'' McCarthy says in the issue hitting newsstands on Wednesday.

Peet then went on "Good Morning America" to urge parents not turn to to celebrities for medical advice.

"My main message to parents is that they should not be taking medical advice from me or any other celebrity. They should look to their pediatrician, the AAP and other experts," Peet said, via Autism Vox.

Unfortunately, Peet is fighting a losing battle, for now. McCarthy's book "Mother Warriors: A Nation of Parents Healing Autism Against All Odds" is number 70 on Amazon's bestseller list, while Dr. Paul Offit's "False Prophets: Bad Science, Risky Medicine, and the Search for a Cure" is ranked 1,370.

It's a small world because Peet allayed her worries about vaccines by talking to Dr. Offit, who jumped into the middle of this nasty fight last month when his book was released.

In his book, Offit tackles arguments that vaccines cause autism in a deliberate and comprehensive way - he is clearly opposed to those theories and states there no reliable science behind the potentially dangerous beliefs. The book is a hard to put down, and I typically stop reading only when my eyes begin to close from sleep.

Dr. Offit also gets my nod for the best opening line for a book that I've read in awhile:

I get a lot of hate mail.

Thanks to Kristina Chew at Autism Vox for picking up on this one.

Helicopter parents who push their kids too hard to play music or sports may rob those children of happiness that comes from those pursuits, the University of Montreal reported.

The study suggests those moms and dads who drive junior to practice the saxophone may actually raise a kid who practices it for the wrong reasons.

"The more controlling parents are, the harder it is for the child to have a harmonious passion for their favorite activity," says Genevieve Mageau. Her concept of supporting autonomy means allowing a child to face up to his or her responsibilities, while considering the child's point of view and also providing answers to their questions without being authoritative. -- University of Montreal summary.

The pressure to achieve may last until adulthood, research suggests.

According to Mageau, adults often admit exercising abusive authority over their children and sometimes forcing their offspring to pursue an activity against their will. "The child learns that by obeying their parents they will be loved," she says. "The risk is that as adults they continue to pursue the activity to maintain their self-esteem."

Thanks to Babble's Strollerderby for finding this one.

A new survey is making the rounds that says nearly a third of married dads have cheated on their wives.

The AOL/Cookie magazine survey is full of interesting results -- 54 percent of surveyed dads said they thought about cheating, yet 69 percent said an affair wouldn't be worth it even if the wife didn't find out -- but I'm not convinced it offers a clear reflection of today's marriages.

Still, momcentric Cookie doesn't use its survey to take direct shots at dads.

"Rather than focusing on the fact that a third of men cheat, I think we need to take an honest look at some of the nuances of this study -- the 2/3 of the men polled who say they usually initiate sex and the 42% who say their wives reject their advances more than once a week -- as indicators of the state of sex in America. While there is no excuse for infidelity, sexual health is a two-way street," says Pilar Guzman, editor-in-chief of Cookie."

The poll covers a decent-sized group -- 60,000 dads responded to an online survey.

I am not saying the survey is wrong, but one-third seems high. I don't know a single marriage that dissolved over an affair. I know it happens and couples aren't publicizing it, but 32 percent?

Thanks to Babble's blog Strollerderby for picking this up.

Married couples are increasingly adopting their own version of separate but equal by sleeping in separate bedrooms, The Huffington Post reports in Married, Sleeping Solo?

"That's right: the National Association of Home Builders predicts that by 2015, 60 percent of all custom upscale homes will be built with two 'owner suites.' Wow.

More and more people these days are saying good night to their significant other and closing the bedroom door behind them. I heard about this sleep trend awhile ago, and then read a more sobering article last week online that highlights the extent -- and potential downfalls -- of this movement."

Now, Working Mom and I toss a little in our sleep, and it's a little tighter with a baby three months away, but I can't see getting another bedroom.

By Tegan Tigani

"The Little Yellow Leaf" written and illustrated by Carin Berger

The meteorolgists told me it might get up to 80˚ today, but I'm going full-speed with a fall recommendation: "The Little Yellow Leaf."

This lovely book tells the story of a leaf that is reluctant to make the big step to actually fall off its tree. Other leaves take the plunge, but the Little Yellow Leaf keeps saying, "I'm not ready yet" and holding tight. Finally, after the first snow, the Little Yellow Leaf spots one more holdout, a Little Scarlet Leaf. Like two kids holding hands on the high dive, they bolster each other's courage. In the end, they soar freely together.

Berger's illustrations are gorgeous collages. The pictures are saturated with warm fall tones, and many of the pages have a fantastic sense of movement around the static yellow leaf. Some are done on old-school lined and graph paper, as if glued to composition books from another generation. This gives the rich autumnal illustrations another level of fall-ness for me because they evoke back-to-school memories.

Berger's words can be as exquisite as her illustrations. Try reading this aloud: "Not ready, thought the Little Yellow Leaf as a heavy harvest moon bloomed amber in the starry sky." The sounds and images resonate.

One of my favorite parts is one that some readers might overlook -- the dedication. Berger offers the book "[t]o the Little Yellow Leaf in all of us and to the Little Scarlet Leaves that help us find our courage." It's a beautiful sentiment for a beautiful work.

We don't schedule too many sports or activities at the Working Dad house, but the latest news suggests today's kids are handling those packed schedules just fine, For Some Busy Kids, It's All Good.

The Washington Post reports researchers found most kids are not over-scheduled and stressed.

It might be only that their parents are on overload, one researcher suggests.

Two studies based on data about how children spend their days show that only a minority are heavily scheduled and that organized activities are linked to positive outcomes in school, emotional development, family life and behavior. -- Washington Post, Sept. 28, '08

(Thanks to the Journalism Center on Children & Families)

With the Dow plummeting more than 700 points today and financial giants teetering and falling, many families are stressed about their economic future. Moms can tell us how you feel at a new survey at Betty Confidential, How Are YOU Being Affected by the Economy?

"Are you anxious about the economy? Not affected at all? What is your biggest financial concern?" -- Betty Confidential.

I will post highlights here, as always hunting for a story.

Two-year-olds with autism spend more time focusing on people's mouths than on their eyes - a finding that might yield a new way of predicting level of disability and also understanding the underlying mechanisms that cause autistic behaviors, according to researchers at Yale School of Medicine.

The findings, published in the latest Archives of General Psychiatry, showed that the less a child with autism looked at the eyes of others, the more severe the child's disability.

Babies begin using eye contact shortly after birth, a process that leads to socialization and creates the skills to understand other people's feelings and thoughts. The findings appear to support the working hypothesis that children with autism are predisposed to look at faces for their physical attributes as opposed to their emotional cues.

-- Thanks to Carol Smith, the P-I's narrative and medical writer.

By Tegan Tigani

"Wonder Bear" by Tao Nyeu.

Dial Books

In general, I'm a big fan of words. Without clever, readable text, it's hard for me to become emotionally attached. Despite that, I have fallen in love with a new wordless children's picture book, "Wonder Bear" by Tao Nyeu.

I love how strange and dream-like this book is. I feel that the absence of words adds to that quality. The stunning print illustrations depict an odd and imaginative story about a boy and girl who plant magic seeds that grow into huge plants that in turn produce a giant, whimsical white bear. The children and the bear find incredible creatures (oodles of monkeys, big dolphin-like beasts) and magical landscapes together. It is a fanciful exploration of line and imagery.

Sometimes wordless books pressure me to find the right voice and proper story line; I feel that I have to look through the whole book to know what to highlight in my narration. With "Wonder Bear," I just let myself get swept away by the pictures. I don't need to impose a narrative arc or funny voices; I enjoy it by tracing swirls with my finger, noticing beautiful details, expressing awe and, well, wondering.

Forget health care, free parking or vacation, paternity leave is one of the fastest growing benefits at companies, according to Working Mother.

Two years ago, 42 percent of the nation's most family-friendly employers offered paid dad leave, while today 75 percent offer the benefit, Carol Evans, CEO of Working Mother Media, told me yesterday. There is still a ways to go because only 13 percent of companies in general offer daddy leave, the magazine reported this week.

And just because a company says you can take time for a new baby, it doesn't mean you will.

"The average man does not take paternity leave even if it is offered," Evans said.

There is also a ripple effect because when dads take leave, moms feel better about taking maternity leave, Evans added.

But Evans sees a shift among the current generation of dads.

"Gen X and Gen Y men have a different ethic about spending time with their kids," Evans said.

Parenting news roundup:

- Researchers uncover possible links to Fragile X Syndrome and drugs to treat its traits of autism, NPR reports in Drugs Hint at Potential Reversal of Autism. (Thanks to the Journalism Center on Children & Families)

The drugs have reversed most of the effects of Fragile X in mice. They are now being tried in humans. And at least one small study found that a single dose of a drug had an effect.

The implications for people with Fragile X are huge. If the drugs work, people with the disorder could see their IQs rise and their autism diminish.

- Babble offers The 33 Worst Celebrity Baby Names. My favorite is Moxie CrimeFighter.

- The Juggle has an interesting post on the decision to have or not to have kids, When Mom Gives Tough Talk About Child-Rearing.

The good news is Microsoft made Working Mother's 100 family-friendliest companies. The bad news is no other Washington companies made the grade.

Microsoft's family benefits are well known, from a month of paid paternity leave and backup child care to coverage of expensive autism therapy and crazy-generous health care insurance.

Despite our state's dearth of winners, Working Mother found companies outside our state who help working parents balance jobs and family. It's unclear what the list says about Washington because companies have to apply to be considered for the top 100.

"Rather than slash parent-focused benefits, 57 percent of the winners increased budgets for work/life programs last year. At all of this year's winning companies, new mothers have access to on-site lactation rooms versus 25 percent of companies nationwide. Eighty-eight percent offer access to backup child care services and 84 percent offer stress reduction programs, compared to the national figures of seven percent and 14 percent respectively," Working Mother announcement of awards.

It was a mixed bag for working dads, with 75 percent of the top 100 companies offering paid paternity leave - only 13 companies across the nation offer dads this benefit - but many dads don't take their leave.

"In a twist on the "mommy track" stereotype, fathers fear being stigmatized for stepping away even for a few weeks," Working Mother noted.

I've written about how dads struggle with the shifting demands of modern parenthood - more time spent at work, on child-rearing and sometimes on marriages. Today, I stumbled across an interesting article by sometimes-controversial family researcher Dr. Scott Haltzman, "Super Dads Need Love Too."

I don't agree with everything he writes, but Haltzman has important things to say about what I call the blind stumble: Dads trying to balance everything, including greater demands, without many role models or context. Haltzman offers an interesting history of dads' role and outlines the strain the modern dad feels.

"The confluence of job insecurity and increasing domestic and emotional demands has resulted in challenges for men not known to their forefathers. Is this the evolution of a new breed of man? Do we need to label him, as has the media, a "Superdad"? To outsiders looking in, it would seem so; the Herculean task of being all things for all people, even at the expense of what we desire for ourselves, can drain the vitality out of even the toughest guys. But most men who take on the task of balancing the demands of work, home and relationship don't see themselves that way. They just grit their teeth, ignore the pain, and tell me: "I'm just doing my job."

-- "Super Dads Need Love Too," MENSIGHT, December 2004

Tennessee told thousands of deadbeat moms and dads they could lose their driving licenses, and -- what's worse -- their authority to drive their motor boats, the Memphis Commercial Appeal reported.

The Tennessee Department of Human Services has sent letters notifying more than 15,000 parents ... who are not paying child support that they face losing their driver's, professional and recreational sports licenses if they don't pay up soon.

(Thanks to the Journalism Center of Children & Families for finding this news.)